I'm only in college. I still find the lack of criminal intent in the people around me appalling. Really. Just the other day, I was on a public computer in college, when enthu pointed out one entire folder lying on the desktop. A particular set of students had downloaded a set of documents that they would copy entirely for a project. I don't really have a problem with people copying projects off the internet. There are times when the spark of inspiration simply does not come. However, when you're doing something wrong, at least DO IT PROPERLY. How can you leave traces on a computer that is accessed by a large number of people? And on the desktop?
I'd almost forgotten about writing this post, until (new character, YAY!) Gen. L. Oblivious reminded me with a 'lack of criminal intent' incident of her own. Gen. L. Oblivious is properly known as General Lee Oblivious. Now that the introductions are out of the way, the incident:
Gen. Oblivious : I'm spooked even when I walk around college!!
greySith : lol wtf... What's to be afraid of in college?
Gen. Oblivious : oh theres plenty...
greySith : Name one realistic reason
Gen. Oblivious : The other day... I was going through a RANDOM guy's phone to choose a pattern for the department sweatshirt and the next picture was... no prizes for guessing... mine...
1) staring at the ceiling in the boring math lecture
2) at the cafe house with a disfigured mouth chewing on something
and three more like that
greySith :@
Gen. Oblivious : Felt like I was being watched by Big Brother...
Now, I'm not the sort who would take pics of women without them noticing just for the heck of it. But, if I had to do it (for a bet etc.) I really wouldn't have taken pics of the girl and then handed her my phone to look through some pics. How daft is that!?
Some of you might say that criminal intent is only needed by people who do things that are wrong. I tend to disagree. You're online now, reading my blog. The internet is an unsafe place. Very unsafe. It is ideal to leave as little trace of what you do online as possible. Whether or not it is happy information or incriminating information, information on the interwebs can be used against you. Criminal intent does not only mean covering up wrongdoing. I consider it to mean protecting any information from people who shouldn't have it. On the internet, as a certain cartoon character would say, 'be wawy wawy caweful'.
Note: Gen. Oblivious is not to be mistaken for Captain Oblivious. She far outranks him!
Wednesday 30 December 2009
Monday 28 December 2009
Wednesday 23 December 2009
The world isn't ending...
... in 2012. I will quote the same sources that are running around in circles with their hair on fire, screaming 'aaaaaaaaaa', claiming we're all going to die in 2012.
The Large Hadron Collider will become fully operational sometime in 2010/2011. I am sure that there is much truth in the 2012 doomsday predictions, but I have similar faith the 'LHC-will-be-our-end' theory.
Therefore, since the world will asplode in 2010/2011, when the LHC creates an all-devouring mini black hole, there's no chance of doomsday being in 2012.
There simply won't be a world to asplode!
The Large Hadron Collider will become fully operational sometime in 2010/2011. I am sure that there is much truth in the 2012 doomsday predictions, but I have similar faith the 'LHC-will-be-our-end' theory.
Therefore, since the world will asplode in 2010/2011, when the LHC creates an all-devouring mini black hole, there's no chance of doomsday being in 2012.
There simply won't be a world to asplode!
Monday 7 December 2009
Conscience
The scene: fag end of a horribly annoying robotics paper. Have just reached a problem that is in two parts. Part 1, I knew exactly how to do. Part 2, I assumed would never come in a paper, and if it did, 'I'd figure it out.'
So now I'm there, 'figuring it out'. Three possible answers come from the three possible ways of doing the problem - 2.5 years, 3 years and 3.33 years. The numbers are running through my head. After a brief battle in my head, I finally decide on 2.5 years.
About three minutes later, the paper ends. The usual post-paper rapid copying session begins. I wearily close the answer booklet and keep the pen down in disgust.
The guy in front of me looks at another guy,
Guy 1: What's the answer to the payback period problem?
Guy 2: Three years
Guy 1: Great, I got the same answer!
Almost instantaneously, a demon and an angel appear on my shoulders. (Okay, so they don't, but we'll pretend that they did).
Demon: Go on! Change it!
Hands eagerly start looking for the last pages of the answer booklet
Angel: NO WAY!
Sheepish hands keep looking for that page, albeit more slowly
Demon: Come on! You haven't done this for three-and-a-half years. No one will grudge you this once!
Happy hands find the problem
Angel: Now is no time to begin.
Brain starts to think of the method that gives 3 years as the answer
Demon: Al..mo..st.. there!
Brain has decided the changes to be made. Hand slowly moves towards pen
Angel: You decided that 2.5 years made the most sense. YOU made that choice, now see it through, no matter what.
The whole 'back your decisions' thing suddenly snaps the brain out of the angel-demon reverie.
I'm glad I didn't change it. Turned out later that I had 'figured it out' the correct answer. And I'm proud I didn't give in. My sinless record in college survives!
So now I'm there, 'figuring it out'. Three possible answers come from the three possible ways of doing the problem - 2.5 years, 3 years and 3.33 years. The numbers are running through my head. After a brief battle in my head, I finally decide on 2.5 years.
About three minutes later, the paper ends. The usual post-paper rapid copying session begins. I wearily close the answer booklet and keep the pen down in disgust.
The guy in front of me looks at another guy,
Guy 1: What's the answer to the payback period problem?
Guy 2: Three years
Guy 1: Great, I got the same answer!
Almost instantaneously, a demon and an angel appear on my shoulders. (Okay, so they don't, but we'll pretend that they did).
Demon: Go on! Change it!
Hands eagerly start looking for the last pages of the answer booklet
Angel: NO WAY!
Sheepish hands keep looking for that page, albeit more slowly
Demon: Come on! You haven't done this for three-and-a-half years. No one will grudge you this once!
Happy hands find the problem
Angel: Now is no time to begin.
Brain starts to think of the method that gives 3 years as the answer
Demon: Al..mo..st.. there!
Brain has decided the changes to be made. Hand slowly moves towards pen
Angel: You decided that 2.5 years made the most sense. YOU made that choice, now see it through, no matter what.
The whole 'back your decisions' thing suddenly snaps the brain out of the angel-demon reverie.
I'm glad I didn't change it. Turned out later that I had 'figured it out' the correct answer. And I'm proud I didn't give in. My sinless record in college survives!
Tuesday 24 November 2009
How Dare You?
A lot has been said about Sachin Tendulkar's 'I am an Indian first' statement. The author wishes to make it clear that this post is not a defence of Tendulkar. He does not need to be defended.I find it amazing how pathetic the Shiv Sena has become. To launch an attack on Sachin Tendulkar, just to whip up regional hysteria. First and foremost- they said Tendulkar has played 20 years for the BCCI. I strongly object. Tendulkar has always played for only ONE entity, and that is INDIA. Of course, the concept will be hard to explain to these bigoted Maharashtrians. (The author points out that he is a Maharashtrian).
A lot is being said about 26/11 these days. During those troubled times, I remember an RBS advert. Sachin speaking in a comforting voice - 'I play for India, now, more than ever.' I remember that victory against England, to soothe frayed nerves. I don't remember where the MNS and the SS were at that time. I don't remember them demanding that Maharashtrian commandos carry out the operation. I don't remember them doing anything. On the other hand, a year later, with all threat to self gone, they went and protested in front of Leopolds.
I'm surprised that the verbal battle with Tendulkar didn't begin earlier. If you look back, the roles of politicians and Tendulkar have always been antithetical. Over the past 20 years, politicians have done everything to rip the fabric of this country apart. The BJP divided us into Hindus and others. The SS divided us into Maharashtrians and South Indians. The MNS is trying to divide us into Maharashtrians and others. And over that same period of time, Tendulkar has always been there. Always there to heal this broken country. While his bat talked, for those fleeting moments, we were not Hindus, not Muslims, not Christians, not any other sect. For those moments we were not East, West, North or South Indians. We were Indians. Bound together by the majesty of one man.
Who is Bal Thakeray, then, to question Sachin, OUR Sachin? What has he done over the past twenty years for India? Other than trying very hard to tear it apart, what is his contribution? What has he done for Maharashtrians, other than giving us a bad name? We are not bigoted, intolerant fools like the SS and the MNS. We're decent, sensible, normal people.
The whole 'divide and rule' thing is bit old, really. It worked very well hundreds of years ago. Politicians still get some mileage out of it these days. It's got to stop. And it will not stop until WE put an end to this. It will not stop until we stand united against this intolerant mindset of almost all our politicians. Are we all up for it?
Sunday 22 November 2009
Monday 26 October 2009
Different things from the same night
Went out for a friend's birthday party. A couple of things happened over the course of the night that I'd like to write about...
#1 - Talking to a friend, Sa,
Sa: You've tasted most of the beer we drink.. what do you think?
Me: Meh... it's so bitter, why drink it?
Sa: See, it's not about bitter... It gives me a mild high, which I like. The bitter doesn't matter to me.
Me: But aren't there better tasting things to get a high with?
Sa: Such as what?
Me: Adrenaline for one... not that you get to taste it...
Sa: And how do you suppose I get adrenaline?
Me: Bikes... Doing crazy things on a bike really gets the adrenaline pumping
Sa: And yeah, you expect me to do crazy stuff on a Pep?
Me: *speechless*
Ah well, to each his own...
#2 - Having dinner,
A friend of the b'day boy (I don't know him directly (the friend, not the b'day boy)) was trying to squeeze a lemon onto some food,
H: What the hell man, no juice in this lemon...
Sa: Arre woh nimbu nahi, mazaak hai...
H (signalling a waiter) : Arre bhaiiya nimbu laana... mazaak nahin
*laughter all around*
Ha Ha
#1 - Talking to a friend, Sa,
Sa: You've tasted most of the beer we drink.. what do you think?
Me: Meh... it's so bitter, why drink it?
Sa: See, it's not about bitter... It gives me a mild high, which I like. The bitter doesn't matter to me.
Me: But aren't there better tasting things to get a high with?
Sa: Such as what?
Me: Adrenaline for one... not that you get to taste it...
Sa: And how do you suppose I get adrenaline?
Me: Bikes... Doing crazy things on a bike really gets the adrenaline pumping
Sa: And yeah, you expect me to do crazy stuff on a Pep?
Me: *speechless*
Ah well, to each his own...
#2 - Having dinner,
A friend of the b'day boy (I don't know him directly (the friend, not the b'day boy)) was trying to squeeze a lemon onto some food,
H: What the hell man, no juice in this lemon...
Sa: Arre woh nimbu nahi, mazaak hai...
H (signalling a waiter) : Arre bhaiiya nimbu laana... mazaak nahin
*laughter all around*
Ha Ha
Sunday 25 October 2009
So Beautiful
It's the sort of thing that you can really appreciate after an annoying day. Having slept most of the day with a sore throat, fever and a nasty cold, sleep was hard to come by at night. Restlessly pacing about in the balcony, with nothing to do, I happened to look up. The sky was astonishingly clear (compared to last year). It took me a few seconds to orient myself. Suddenly it all came flooding back...
There was a distorted M, now setting into the west...
There was the 'V' (not for vendetta) of Taurus...
And there was an all too familiar fuzzy patch in the sky...
It was too clear for it to be true. I actually spent the next few seconds making sure that it was, in fact, Pleiades. And it was. Photographs are insufficient, when it comes to the Pleiades.
That photo is very nice and all that, but it is nothing compared to how dainty Pleiades really looks when seen with the naked eye. The wonder multiplies when you look through a telescope- it's almost stellar spam!
It's something you must do at least once in your life- see the pleiades in all its glory. Like the title says - so beautiful.
There was a distorted M, now setting into the west...
There was the 'V' (not for vendetta) of Taurus...
And there was an all too familiar fuzzy patch in the sky...
It was too clear for it to be true. I actually spent the next few seconds making sure that it was, in fact, Pleiades. And it was. Photographs are insufficient, when it comes to the Pleiades.
That photo is very nice and all that, but it is nothing compared to how dainty Pleiades really looks when seen with the naked eye. The wonder multiplies when you look through a telescope- it's almost stellar spam!It's something you must do at least once in your life- see the pleiades in all its glory. Like the title says - so beautiful.
Thursday 22 October 2009
Death of Democracy
Now of course, some of you will say, 'Democracy is a concept, you can't kill it.' No? Ask the Congress and the BJP. They just did. Let's explore the political scenario in Maharashtra by way of an analogy:
Consider the Congress to be the batting side, and the BJP the bowling side (since the Congress is trying to stay 'in' power and the BJP trying to get it 'out'). The performance of the Congress over the past ten years has been so poor that few would disagree with me when I compare the entire Congress 'team' to Chris Martin (batting). Now, faced with the task of bowling at a rank tailender, the BJP had the following options:
1. Tear them apart with a savage pace and spin attack ala Brett Lee + Shane Warne. It'll be a matter of minutes before the Congree folds.
2. Bowl part-timers (i.e. VVS Laxman, Rahul Dravid, Inzamam ul-Haq, SS Das etc.). It'll take a while, but it'll be fun, and Rahul Dravid might even get a hat-trick.
3. Don't do anything. The Congress team is full of such ineptitude that they would find a way to get themselve out even if you didn't bowl at them.
4. Get Brendon McCullum, MSK Prasad and Adam Gilchrist to bowl long hops and low full tosses at 20kmph. So many of the balls will be wide that they Congress actually stands to win in this scenario.
Guess which option they took?
Exactly - #4
I cannot fully comprehend how the BJP/SS managed to lose this election. It must've taken some doing, that's for sure. In a good democracy, people hope that the best people come to power. In an average democracy, people hope that the least evil people come to power. However, it is seldom that people have hoped that meteors rain down from the heavens onto every politician from every party that contested. This is one of those times.
What is most annoying is the list of reasons coming from the political parties:
1. Congress: The people have voted in favour of our governance (what governance?)
2. Congress: We have won on the back of our policies (huh?)
3. SS: We lost because the MNS took our votes (sore losers)
4. BJP: The EVMs make the Congress win (WTF!?)
Sounds more like a rule-book of fibbing. Idiots.
Consider the Congress to be the batting side, and the BJP the bowling side (since the Congress is trying to stay 'in' power and the BJP trying to get it 'out'). The performance of the Congress over the past ten years has been so poor that few would disagree with me when I compare the entire Congress 'team' to Chris Martin (batting). Now, faced with the task of bowling at a rank tailender, the BJP had the following options:
1. Tear them apart with a savage pace and spin attack ala Brett Lee + Shane Warne. It'll be a matter of minutes before the Congree folds.
2. Bowl part-timers (i.e. VVS Laxman, Rahul Dravid, Inzamam ul-Haq, SS Das etc.). It'll take a while, but it'll be fun, and Rahul Dravid might even get a hat-trick.
3. Don't do anything. The Congress team is full of such ineptitude that they would find a way to get themselve out even if you didn't bowl at them.
4. Get Brendon McCullum, MSK Prasad and Adam Gilchrist to bowl long hops and low full tosses at 20kmph. So many of the balls will be wide that they Congress actually stands to win in this scenario.
Guess which option they took?
Exactly - #4
I cannot fully comprehend how the BJP/SS managed to lose this election. It must've taken some doing, that's for sure. In a good democracy, people hope that the best people come to power. In an average democracy, people hope that the least evil people come to power. However, it is seldom that people have hoped that meteors rain down from the heavens onto every politician from every party that contested. This is one of those times.
What is most annoying is the list of reasons coming from the political parties:
1. Congress: The people have voted in favour of our governance (what governance?)
2. Congress: We have won on the back of our policies (huh?)
3. SS: We lost because the MNS took our votes (sore losers)
4. BJP: The EVMs make the Congress win (WTF!?)
Sounds more like a rule-book of fibbing. Idiots.
Tuesday 13 October 2009
Growing up
Is the time it takes for the Birthday flag in your status register to go from:
1 - Yipeee!! Birthday time
to
0 - Heh, it's my birthday
to
x - Don't care
1 - Yipeee!! Birthday time
to
0 - Heh, it's my birthday
to
x - Don't care
Tuesday 15 September 2009
Dereliction of Duty
Every time I'm riding on a fly-over, the speed limits make me laugh. I can't exceed 30kmph on a fly-over? Really? Why'd you build one then? Speed limits on Indian roads are unbelievable. I find it preposterous that on the excellent Pune-Bombay expressway, the maximum speed I'm allowed to travel at is 80kmph.
I have it on good authority that the expressway is good enough to travel at over 200kmph. It's only around 220kmph that the first signs of vibrations begin to appear. Why exactly is it then, that an 8 lane express way limits your speed to 80kmph? I regularly do 80kmph on city roads, in the day time. And it's not rash. Fast and rash are different. The problem is actually one of complete apathy on the part of the traffic police authorities.
The procedure to get a licence is rife with corruption. I'm sure half the people on road today paid their way into a licence. Those who got a licence properly (like me) will agree that the procedure is laughable. You do not need any road sense whatsoever to get a licence. Therefore, you have blathering idiots on road, who have no sense of traffic, machine or ability. These idiots are the ones who ride/drive rash and kill people.
What's the solution? Revamp the entire system. Make it mandatory for everyone to get their licences reissued after a proper exam that tests most aspects of city driving. Sure it'll be tedious and inconvenient, but a line has to be drawn somewhere. In Dubai, issue of a licence is met with a party and wild celebrations. Here, it's nowhere as hard to get.
But what is it that the police does? Nothing. And the worst part is, they wash their hands off all accountability by setting laughable speed limits. The moment someone dies, it wasn't because the fool shouldn't have been driving in the first place, it's because he was overspeeding!? The police transfers all blame to the victims of the system, and merrily go about their work (whatever is left after the shirking is complete) .
If you were to compare our speed limits to the US, you'll find quite a contrast. Speed limits on internal roads in the states are around 30mph. That's about 50kmph. And our traffic police, in all their glory, sets a speed limit of 30kmph on a fly-over!? When will they learn that the solution is not to absolve the system of responsibility by blaming the idiots who made it through the system? The solution is to make sure that idiots aren't allowed to be on the road in the first place. The benefits would eventually outweigh the obstacles. Our roads will be safer and faster. Fewer people will die. Admittedly, it'll be a pain to get our licences ratified again. There will be a major public outcry against it (like when helmets and seat belts were made compulsory). The real reason is not the trouble involved. The real trouble is that most people will fail. But it must happen. I'm willing to subject myself to another test. As long as it does not involve wheelies and stoppies, I'm sure I'll clear it.
I'm looking forward to your opinions.
I have it on good authority that the expressway is good enough to travel at over 200kmph. It's only around 220kmph that the first signs of vibrations begin to appear. Why exactly is it then, that an 8 lane express way limits your speed to 80kmph? I regularly do 80kmph on city roads, in the day time. And it's not rash. Fast and rash are different. The problem is actually one of complete apathy on the part of the traffic police authorities.
The procedure to get a licence is rife with corruption. I'm sure half the people on road today paid their way into a licence. Those who got a licence properly (like me) will agree that the procedure is laughable. You do not need any road sense whatsoever to get a licence. Therefore, you have blathering idiots on road, who have no sense of traffic, machine or ability. These idiots are the ones who ride/drive rash and kill people.
What's the solution? Revamp the entire system. Make it mandatory for everyone to get their licences reissued after a proper exam that tests most aspects of city driving. Sure it'll be tedious and inconvenient, but a line has to be drawn somewhere. In Dubai, issue of a licence is met with a party and wild celebrations. Here, it's nowhere as hard to get.
But what is it that the police does? Nothing. And the worst part is, they wash their hands off all accountability by setting laughable speed limits. The moment someone dies, it wasn't because the fool shouldn't have been driving in the first place, it's because he was overspeeding!? The police transfers all blame to the victims of the system, and merrily go about their work (whatever is left after the shirking is complete) .
If you were to compare our speed limits to the US, you'll find quite a contrast. Speed limits on internal roads in the states are around 30mph. That's about 50kmph. And our traffic police, in all their glory, sets a speed limit of 30kmph on a fly-over!? When will they learn that the solution is not to absolve the system of responsibility by blaming the idiots who made it through the system? The solution is to make sure that idiots aren't allowed to be on the road in the first place. The benefits would eventually outweigh the obstacles. Our roads will be safer and faster. Fewer people will die. Admittedly, it'll be a pain to get our licences ratified again. There will be a major public outcry against it (like when helmets and seat belts were made compulsory). The real reason is not the trouble involved. The real trouble is that most people will fail. But it must happen. I'm willing to subject myself to another test. As long as it does not involve wheelies and stoppies, I'm sure I'll clear it.
I'm looking forward to your opinions.
Wednesday 2 September 2009
Of Embarrassing Things Heard and Read...
After a long series of posts devoid of any new characters or embarrassing stories, GreySith returns with more tales that will make you laugh (or cringe). So, here are our principal characters:
GreySith
Enthu
M (for lack of a better name)
Poo
and quickGan, in a guest appearance
The scene:
We're waiting for a bunch of people to finish writing articles that might get them entry into the college magazine. There's a topic still to be announced, and M, Poo, Enthu and I are discussing what that topic should be...
M walks off for a bit to answer a phone call or something...
Enthu: I have a great idea - scent of a woman!
Poo: (strange expression)
Me: Yes, but what do you want the women to write?
Poo: (little grin) section 377...
Enthu: Yeah man!
Me: Come on...
M returns at this point of time
M: So do we have a topic?
Enthu: Ye..ah
M: ?
Me: Enthu, let's not go there. Do you want me to tell her about the other topic you had in mind?
Enthu: No...!
Me: You want to go home nah?
Enthu: Err yeah...
M: (misunderstanding the situation) WHAT? You had 'Do you want to go home' as a topic? That's soo seedy. What a horrid pick-up line!
Enthu: No no no...
Me: No, No. I'll tell you
Enthu: NO! I'll start narrating embarrassing things you said...
Me: It was 'Women are like cell phones- as long as you press the right buttons, you'll be happy, but you press the wrong button, and you're disconnected'
M: (WTF expression on her face)
Poo: (laughing)
Me: Besides, what's the worst you could come up with... the GE silicon thing...
Enthu: Hell yeah!
Me: I'll tell them anyway... So I was in a student meeting, explaining how we sealed a particular joint... and we had used this chemical called GE silicon. I kinda forgot the name at the instant I was supposed to say it. I remembered that it was two letters... some two letters. I ended up saying 'KY'. (both the girls burst into laughter) I did correct it though...
Enthu: Yeah I remember that one... There were all these impressionable juniors, and they were noting down what he was saying. And he said 'KY gel', not just KY.
Everyone was laughing at that point.
Cut to a little later, when quickGan makes an appearance. We've just got all the entries and we're looking at them.
M: Look, there's a guy with an email id like tush.something@something.com
Enthu: Jaane do... strange ids people come up with.
M: Imagine how weird it would sound to tell someone that id.
Enthu: Never mind that, someone is going to tell him 'duude you've got a tush in your email'
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
quickGan: I sorta missed the joke, what's going on?
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
quickGan: Arre explain the joke nah...
M: You know we're looking like retards with you two laughing like that...
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHA... (looks at Poo and M) Look at them, they're completely stoned... HAHAHAHAHA
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... my stomach hurts...
M: (probably disturbed by the sight of two guys laughing their guts out) Come on, we've got to go...
quickGan: (still confused) but why are you laughing so hard?
Poo: Stop already...
Me: Hahahahahaha
Enthu: Hahahahahahaha... 'you've got a... tush in your email...' hahahahahahaha
I have no idea how long we kept the (somewhat) annoyed M, confused quickGan and Poo waiting. But that was the hardest laugh I've had in long time. I hope you did too!
GreySith
Enthu
M (for lack of a better name)
Poo
and quickGan, in a guest appearance
The scene:
We're waiting for a bunch of people to finish writing articles that might get them entry into the college magazine. There's a topic still to be announced, and M, Poo, Enthu and I are discussing what that topic should be...
M walks off for a bit to answer a phone call or something...
Enthu: I have a great idea - scent of a woman!
Poo: (strange expression)
Me: Yes, but what do you want the women to write?
Poo: (little grin) section 377...
Enthu: Yeah man!
Me: Come on...
M returns at this point of time
M: So do we have a topic?
Enthu: Ye..ah
M: ?
Me: Enthu, let's not go there. Do you want me to tell her about the other topic you had in mind?
Enthu: No...!
Me: You want to go home nah?
Enthu: Err yeah...
M: (misunderstanding the situation) WHAT? You had 'Do you want to go home' as a topic? That's soo seedy. What a horrid pick-up line!
Enthu: No no no...
Me: No, No. I'll tell you
Enthu: NO! I'll start narrating embarrassing things you said...
Me: It was 'Women are like cell phones- as long as you press the right buttons, you'll be happy, but you press the wrong button, and you're disconnected'
M: (WTF expression on her face)
Poo: (laughing)
Me: Besides, what's the worst you could come up with... the GE silicon thing...
Enthu: Hell yeah!
Me: I'll tell them anyway... So I was in a student meeting, explaining how we sealed a particular joint... and we had used this chemical called GE silicon. I kinda forgot the name at the instant I was supposed to say it. I remembered that it was two letters... some two letters. I ended up saying 'KY'. (both the girls burst into laughter) I did correct it though...
Enthu: Yeah I remember that one... There were all these impressionable juniors, and they were noting down what he was saying. And he said 'KY gel', not just KY.
Everyone was laughing at that point.
Cut to a little later, when quickGan makes an appearance. We've just got all the entries and we're looking at them.
M: Look, there's a guy with an email id like tush.something@something.com
Enthu: Jaane do... strange ids people come up with.
M: Imagine how weird it would sound to tell someone that id.
Enthu: Never mind that, someone is going to tell him 'duude you've got a tush in your email'
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
quickGan: I sorta missed the joke, what's going on?
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
quickGan: Arre explain the joke nah...
M: You know we're looking like retards with you two laughing like that...
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHA... (looks at Poo and M) Look at them, they're completely stoned... HAHAHAHAHA
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... my stomach hurts...
M: (probably disturbed by the sight of two guys laughing their guts out) Come on, we've got to go...
quickGan: (still confused) but why are you laughing so hard?
Poo: Stop already...
Me: Hahahahahaha
Enthu: Hahahahahahaha... 'you've got a... tush in your email...' hahahahahahaha
I have no idea how long we kept the (somewhat) annoyed M, confused quickGan and Poo waiting. But that was the hardest laugh I've had in long time. I hope you did too!
Gear Happy
The other day, I was in Camp, and noticed this guy who rode past at high revs in the first gear. My thoughts, in order, were:
'Poor sod. No one told him his bike has five gears'
'Or maybe no one told him where the shifter was'
'He might also have thought his pulsar was an automatic transmission bike'
I love the gearbox. A well designed gearbox ranks in the same category as digital watches and soap bubbles, when it comes to making people happy. People accuse me of using the gears too much, but god gave us the gearbox to use it! Over the past few months, I've practised a ton of gearbox skills, such as engine braking, cutting down brake use by 90%, seamless shifting etc. It's a lot of fun.
People who ride (or drive) ATs have no idea what they're missing out in a Manual. This post is probably a little random, but is serves a purpose. I want to pay homage to the guy who invented the gearbox (and God) for this priceless gift to mankind. Thank you.
'Poor sod. No one told him his bike has five gears'
'Or maybe no one told him where the shifter was'
'He might also have thought his pulsar was an automatic transmission bike'
I love the gearbox. A well designed gearbox ranks in the same category as digital watches and soap bubbles, when it comes to making people happy. People accuse me of using the gears too much, but god gave us the gearbox to use it! Over the past few months, I've practised a ton of gearbox skills, such as engine braking, cutting down brake use by 90%, seamless shifting etc. It's a lot of fun.
People who ride (or drive) ATs have no idea what they're missing out in a Manual. This post is probably a little random, but is serves a purpose. I want to pay homage to the guy who invented the gearbox (and God) for this priceless gift to mankind. Thank you.
Tuesday 18 August 2009
What's making news
Seen the news lately? Here's your news round up for the past month, and the next month:
1. Swine flu - We're all going to die AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
2. Drought - No crops, we're all going to die AAAAAAAAA!!!
3. Terrorists - We're all going to die AAAAAAAAAA!!!
4. Pakistan - We're all going to die AAAAAAAAAA!!!
5. Naxalism - They're going to take over the naxal belt, then the rest of India, we're all going to die AAAAAAAAAA!!!
Not to say that these issues are not important, but really, do we need to be told all the time that we're all going to die?
(On a related note, I like how news channels have debates on 'Has the Swine Flu problem been blown out of proportion?'. We all know who's been screaming that we're all going to die.)
(On an unrelated note, an exoplanet with a retrograde orbit has been discovered recently. In case you missed the half second of screen time that this (newsworthy) bit got, here's a link.)
1. Swine flu - We're all going to die AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
2. Drought - No crops, we're all going to die AAAAAAAAA!!!
3. Terrorists - We're all going to die AAAAAAAAAA!!!
4. Pakistan - We're all going to die AAAAAAAAAA!!!
5. Naxalism - They're going to take over the naxal belt, then the rest of India, we're all going to die AAAAAAAAAA!!!
Not to say that these issues are not important, but really, do we need to be told all the time that we're all going to die?
(On a related note, I like how news channels have debates on 'Has the Swine Flu problem been blown out of proportion?'. We all know who's been screaming that we're all going to die.)
(On an unrelated note, an exoplanet with a retrograde orbit has been discovered recently. In case you missed the half second of screen time that this (newsworthy) bit got, here's a link.)
Thursday 6 August 2009
The drivel that is 2.0
I've been using the internet since the early days of the technology in India. When 28.8kbps was decent. When 56.6kbps was blazing fast. When a 1MB file took an hour (or more) to download. I distinctly remember when HTML4 was the 'in' thing. I've coded some websites myself...
Over the past couple of years, the one thing that disturbs me is the emergence of the so called 'Web 2.0'. It's supposed to be this revolution in the way web sites are designed. And it is. It has made web sites glossy, cool and hard to use. Don't get me wrong- people who know me will appreciate that I'm all for the 'this looks awesome for no reason' funda. But not at the cost of usability. During the last year, two websites I frequent , CricInfo and The Inquirer, have undergone a significant facelift. For starters, the experience was horrendous in the first few days after the switch. And even so, after I got used to the new 2.0 interfaces, I have not noticed any real improvement in the usability of either site.
The only change I have observed is that the sites are now more bandwidth intensive (which does not really bother me since I'm on broadband, but you don't leave the tap open just because you get 24hrs water supply, do you?). They look flashy and cool, but the sole reason I go to these sites is the fact that they had excellent content. I fail to see how web 2.0 is a value addition.
I know it appears like I'm now cribbing about inconsequential things, but since you've held on for so long, I'll leave you with another revelation (it was to me, anyway). I have been used to the internet as it was for many years, almost a decade now. Web 2.0 makes me feel technologically retarded. Maybe this is what growing old feels like. When the young can adapt so easily to the new world, while the old struggle to keep up... I think those of you who have been online since as long as I have will appreciate what I say. Those of you who who are relatively new will simply have to wait for a few years before you too can feel old and feeble!
One thing's for sure, I know what my mum feels like when she comes across a computer.
Over the past couple of years, the one thing that disturbs me is the emergence of the so called 'Web 2.0'. It's supposed to be this revolution in the way web sites are designed. And it is. It has made web sites glossy, cool and hard to use. Don't get me wrong- people who know me will appreciate that I'm all for the 'this looks awesome for no reason' funda. But not at the cost of usability. During the last year, two websites I frequent , CricInfo and The Inquirer, have undergone a significant facelift. For starters, the experience was horrendous in the first few days after the switch. And even so, after I got used to the new 2.0 interfaces, I have not noticed any real improvement in the usability of either site.
The only change I have observed is that the sites are now more bandwidth intensive (which does not really bother me since I'm on broadband, but you don't leave the tap open just because you get 24hrs water supply, do you?). They look flashy and cool, but the sole reason I go to these sites is the fact that they had excellent content. I fail to see how web 2.0 is a value addition.
I know it appears like I'm now cribbing about inconsequential things, but since you've held on for so long, I'll leave you with another revelation (it was to me, anyway). I have been used to the internet as it was for many years, almost a decade now. Web 2.0 makes me feel technologically retarded. Maybe this is what growing old feels like. When the young can adapt so easily to the new world, while the old struggle to keep up... I think those of you who have been online since as long as I have will appreciate what I say. Those of you who who are relatively new will simply have to wait for a few years before you too can feel old and feeble!
One thing's for sure, I know what my mum feels like when she comes across a computer.
Friday 24 July 2009
Pastime
I have just realised that I have developed a silly pastime when I'm riding. I tend to aggressively overtake guys with their girlfriends pillion behind them to see if they will try to return the manoeuvre. Childish social experiment? Yes. Fun? Absolutely!
Friday 3 July 2009
Don't Panic!
With that reference to the lord of humour, I'm going to talk today, about braking on wet roads. A lot of people tend to fall while riding on wet roads. This has a lot to do with the manner in which the brakes are applied on a two wheeler. Most people believe that on wet roads you must forgo the use of the front brake and use only the rear brake. This, is a very risky thing to do. I'm going to explain, with the help of a little bit of mechanics, how brakes should be used in the wet (or even dry).
Before we get to the braking though, a few general tips. The water on the road reduces the friction between the road surface and your tyres. While riding on a road with a little bit of water (i.e. not standing water), the water will tend to reduce the friction (or grip) available to you by about 15%. So, for starters, ride about 20% slower than you would on dry roads. Secondly, maintain distance between the vehicle in front of you. On a dry road, I remember rearset saying somewhere that you should maintain a distance to the vehicle in front of you such that you can see the tyres of that vehicle. On a wet road, extending this distance further, as much as a car length is a good idea. Additionally, avoid riding on anything that is not tar/concrete, i.e. painted signs, tiles, metal manhole covers, etc. That 5% difference in grip may be the difference between you being on the bike and on the ground.
Now, on to the braking part. Consider a two wheeler travelling on a stretch of road,
In the picture above, imagine the long straight line to be the body of your two wheeler. Consider four frictional forces in that figure. Fft and Ffb are the frictional forces at the tyre-road interface and brake respectively for the front wheel. Similarly, Frt and and Frb are the frictional forces at the tyre-road interface and brake respectively for the rear wheel.
In order to slow down the bike, without causing a wheel to lock up, the frictional force at the tyre-road interface must exceed the force applied by the brake at all times. As long as Fft exceeds Ffb, the frictional force at the tyre-road interface will force the tyre to keep rotating. If Ffb becomes higher that Fft, the tyre will simply stop rotating and lock up. This would imply that you should apply equal, but limited pressure on both brakes to brake safely. There is another factor though. The moment you start braking, the body of the bike tends to lurch forward due to inertia. This motion compresses the front shock absorbers and allows the rear shocks to expand. So, once you start braking, the picture changes to this,
Shocks are not perfect, and therefore will transmit force (even though they're supposed to absorb it). Therefore, you now have a state where there is a greater load on the front wheel than there is on the rear wheel. This means that Fft now greatly exceeds Frt. It is easy now to lock up the rear wheel, and correspondingly hard to lock up the front wheel, because the limiting values of Ffb and Frb have also changed.
This is the reason why bikes always have a stronger brake on the front wheel. The explanation above holds for dry and wet weather. The correct method for braking therefore, is to start braking with only the rear brake. Once weight transfer to the front begins, slowly start using the front brake, and reduce the pressure on the rear brake. This ensures that you're less likely to lock up either wheel.
Don't Panic
If you understood what I just said, you should be less likely to lock up the front wheel. Rear wheel lock ups are still possible. If you do lock up the rear, whatever you do, don't panic. Because the front wheel still isn't locked, chances are that you'll still be going in a straight line. Gently release the rear brake, more often than not, it'll start rotating again.
Always be prepared to fall. There's no technique in the world that can ensure that you'll never fall. You WILL fall, all you can do is to reduce the frequency. When you are open to the possibility of falling, if you do fall, you'll probably get up, pick up the bike and start riding again. If you believe that you can never fall, when you do, you'll be too stunned to do anything about it.
That does it for my first biking techniques post. Feedback on whether or not that was coherent and understandable is welcome.
Before we get to the braking though, a few general tips. The water on the road reduces the friction between the road surface and your tyres. While riding on a road with a little bit of water (i.e. not standing water), the water will tend to reduce the friction (or grip) available to you by about 15%. So, for starters, ride about 20% slower than you would on dry roads. Secondly, maintain distance between the vehicle in front of you. On a dry road, I remember rearset saying somewhere that you should maintain a distance to the vehicle in front of you such that you can see the tyres of that vehicle. On a wet road, extending this distance further, as much as a car length is a good idea. Additionally, avoid riding on anything that is not tar/concrete, i.e. painted signs, tiles, metal manhole covers, etc. That 5% difference in grip may be the difference between you being on the bike and on the ground.
Now, on to the braking part. Consider a two wheeler travelling on a stretch of road,
In the picture above, imagine the long straight line to be the body of your two wheeler. Consider four frictional forces in that figure. Fft and Ffb are the frictional forces at the tyre-road interface and brake respectively for the front wheel. Similarly, Frt and and Frb are the frictional forces at the tyre-road interface and brake respectively for the rear wheel.
In order to slow down the bike, without causing a wheel to lock up, the frictional force at the tyre-road interface must exceed the force applied by the brake at all times. As long as Fft exceeds Ffb, the frictional force at the tyre-road interface will force the tyre to keep rotating. If Ffb becomes higher that Fft, the tyre will simply stop rotating and lock up. This would imply that you should apply equal, but limited pressure on both brakes to brake safely. There is another factor though. The moment you start braking, the body of the bike tends to lurch forward due to inertia. This motion compresses the front shock absorbers and allows the rear shocks to expand. So, once you start braking, the picture changes to this,
Shocks are not perfect, and therefore will transmit force (even though they're supposed to absorb it). Therefore, you now have a state where there is a greater load on the front wheel than there is on the rear wheel. This means that Fft now greatly exceeds Frt. It is easy now to lock up the rear wheel, and correspondingly hard to lock up the front wheel, because the limiting values of Ffb and Frb have also changed.This is the reason why bikes always have a stronger brake on the front wheel. The explanation above holds for dry and wet weather. The correct method for braking therefore, is to start braking with only the rear brake. Once weight transfer to the front begins, slowly start using the front brake, and reduce the pressure on the rear brake. This ensures that you're less likely to lock up either wheel.
Don't Panic
If you understood what I just said, you should be less likely to lock up the front wheel. Rear wheel lock ups are still possible. If you do lock up the rear, whatever you do, don't panic. Because the front wheel still isn't locked, chances are that you'll still be going in a straight line. Gently release the rear brake, more often than not, it'll start rotating again.
Always be prepared to fall. There's no technique in the world that can ensure that you'll never fall. You WILL fall, all you can do is to reduce the frequency. When you are open to the possibility of falling, if you do fall, you'll probably get up, pick up the bike and start riding again. If you believe that you can never fall, when you do, you'll be too stunned to do anything about it.
That does it for my first biking techniques post. Feedback on whether or not that was coherent and understandable is welcome.
Wednesday 1 July 2009
Whuh!?
The scenario:
Meeting a couple of friends over lunch. Harsh and I decide to give her a framed photo of the three of us, (taken before lunch) after lunch. The plan is laid out, Harsh makes the tricky part of getting her to pose with us for a pic before lunch rather easy. We gave the camera to one of the dudes at the restaurant. He took a decent pic, except for the fact that the three of us didn't really fill up the frame. Then, part 2. I faked a phone call and walked out of the restaurant with the camera in my hand (she didn't notice, yay!). Smooth until now.
I walk unto Main street, and choose to walk into one of the Fotofasts there (there are two, don't ask me why). I spent ten minutes there, just standing, because there was some sort of miscommunication between a customer and the woman in the store and now they were arguing about it. Annoyed by this point, I walked out and walked into the other Fotofast.
I placed an order for the photo we had just taken. I asked her the cost. She told me. Wasn't much, and was appropriate for the size. Then I thought it would be nicer if the photo was cropped, so that we would fill up more of the frame. So I casually asked the woman whether she could crop it. I assumed it would be like 15-20 rupees. She tells another woman there to 'calculate' the cost of cropping an 8x10 photo. I'm already 'wtf' in my head. Cropping is cropping, on a digital image it takes a few seconds to do and is irrespective of the size of the print! After performing her lengthy calculations, she tells me, 'It'll cost you Rs. 226.'
WHAT!?
1. This is robbery because they do not add anything worth Rs. 226 while cropping a DIGITAL photo. It takes a couple of seconds to do.
2. This is robbery because they want to charge for cropping according to the size of the final print!
Meh, I could come up with a hundred reasons why this is robbery. I obviously chose not to be robbed, and asked the thief... err... woman from fotofast to print the photo as is. Result,
I was unintentionally rude (only for a couple of awkward seconds though) to a friend of the recipient (because I was annoyed).
Happily though, the recipient really liked our gift!
Next time you go to get prints, avoid fotofast, the fiends. I find that 1 Hour Photo yields good results and is very affordable too.
Meeting a couple of friends over lunch. Harsh and I decide to give her a framed photo of the three of us, (taken before lunch) after lunch. The plan is laid out, Harsh makes the tricky part of getting her to pose with us for a pic before lunch rather easy. We gave the camera to one of the dudes at the restaurant. He took a decent pic, except for the fact that the three of us didn't really fill up the frame. Then, part 2. I faked a phone call and walked out of the restaurant with the camera in my hand (she didn't notice, yay!). Smooth until now.
I walk unto Main street, and choose to walk into one of the Fotofasts there (there are two, don't ask me why). I spent ten minutes there, just standing, because there was some sort of miscommunication between a customer and the woman in the store and now they were arguing about it. Annoyed by this point, I walked out and walked into the other Fotofast.
I placed an order for the photo we had just taken. I asked her the cost. She told me. Wasn't much, and was appropriate for the size. Then I thought it would be nicer if the photo was cropped, so that we would fill up more of the frame. So I casually asked the woman whether she could crop it. I assumed it would be like 15-20 rupees. She tells another woman there to 'calculate' the cost of cropping an 8x10 photo. I'm already 'wtf' in my head. Cropping is cropping, on a digital image it takes a few seconds to do and is irrespective of the size of the print! After performing her lengthy calculations, she tells me, 'It'll cost you Rs. 226.'
WHAT!?
1. This is robbery because they do not add anything worth Rs. 226 while cropping a DIGITAL photo. It takes a couple of seconds to do.
2. This is robbery because they want to charge for cropping according to the size of the final print!
Meh, I could come up with a hundred reasons why this is robbery. I obviously chose not to be robbed, and asked the thief... err... woman from fotofast to print the photo as is. Result,
I was unintentionally rude (only for a couple of awkward seconds though) to a friend of the recipient (because I was annoyed).
Happily though, the recipient really liked our gift!
Next time you go to get prints, avoid fotofast, the fiends. I find that 1 Hour Photo yields good results and is very affordable too.
Tuesday 23 June 2009
IT IS NOT THE DILSCOOP
Or 'the Dilshan' or anything of the sort. Common sense states that a shot should be named after the guy who thought of it. SO CALL IT THE MARILLIER SHOT. Because Douglas Marillier thought of it. And Douglas Marillier is one of the coolest people to have played any game (in the same league as Marat Safin, Shahid Afridi, Jacques Villneuve, Juan Pablo Montoya, Andréas 'KixeR' Sjölander etc.)
Remember that it is the Marillier shot!
Remember that it is the Marillier shot!
Monday 15 June 2009
In defence of fictional violence
I've been playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto IV lately. For the uninitiated, here's the sort of stuff that you do in a typical one hour of playing GTA,
> Use the choicest and most vulgar language
> Break traffic rules
> Run over people on the road
> Rob people
> Shoot at people
> Kill people
> Run from the police
> Kill some police
> Drink
> Watch many characters do drugs
I'm sure some namby-pamby idiot is going to go running the moment he sees this post and insist that GTA be banned. It makes our youth bloodthirsty and violent. It's the reason that children are turning more and more towards the gun as an answer to all of life's problems.
And here I am, defending this violent, anti-establishment, anti-social game. And why not? For starters, the game carries an 18+ certification. Beyond that age, I understand that, by law, people are free to do what they like. To tell you the truth though, I played my first GTA (San Andreas) a couple of years before I turned 18. A friend of mine (L, to be precise) was playing his first GTA (Vice City) in his early teens I think... What does this tell you? Him and I, we've no history of physical violence. In the nine years I've known him (since before the time we became teenagers) I can recall not one incident of any violence, whether instigatory or retaliatory, on his part or mine. That can mean one of two things, either I'm lying (which makes this post pointless, so you've got to trust me on this), or that playing GTA has not altered our mental state in any way.
The question then arises, why aren't we out on the streets smoking, drinking, doing drugs, getting into fights, eve teasing etc. like the rest of my (metaphorical) brethren? Why am I not going to college with guns to shoot people I don't like? Why doesn't the ever-patient L never get impatient and beat someone to a pulp? We're no saints. I'm not going to say that the thought of punching someone's teeth off never crossed our minds. But there was this other thing. It's called a conscience. You would think that anyone with a decent upbringing would have his/her conscience bite him in the backside long before he/she killed someone.
That's it isn't it. Upbringing. There's your revelation. It's not GTA (or a hundred games of the sort (we still <3 you Duke Nukem) ) that make people violent. It's a bad upbringing. And all that these parents are doing, is shirking their responsibility and blaming a bunch of hard working and talented game designers for their mistakes.
So where does it begin? It begins when these modern day parents mollycoddle their precious (and pathetic) children and make them utter wimps. When you're a wimp, it's suddenly very cool to get into a physical fight, isn't it? Then, while you're mollycoddling these children, you don't pay any real attention to them. So these kids, who have learnt no values (but have learnt that they must only drink purified water for their safety) turn to games to pass their time. And that's where they pick up these violent themes.
Other targets for irresponsible parents include Tom and Jerry (too violent for our precious children), Speedy Gonzalez (makes our little weepy children racist), which are, hold your breath, CARTOONS!
Here's an excellent suggestion for these foolish parents, if you don't want your children to become violent, STOP FREAKING HAVING CHILDREN IN THE FIRST PLACE. It's parents like you that are making this world a more miserable place.
PS: Notice how arguments as compelling as the one above can be made for each of the targets that such parents have - cartoons, action movies, vulgar movies, violent movies, etc.
> Use the choicest and most vulgar language
> Break traffic rules
> Run over people on the road
> Rob people
> Shoot at people
> Kill people
> Run from the police
> Kill some police
> Drink
> Watch many characters do drugs
I'm sure some namby-pamby idiot is going to go running the moment he sees this post and insist that GTA be banned. It makes our youth bloodthirsty and violent. It's the reason that children are turning more and more towards the gun as an answer to all of life's problems.
And here I am, defending this violent, anti-establishment, anti-social game. And why not? For starters, the game carries an 18+ certification. Beyond that age, I understand that, by law, people are free to do what they like. To tell you the truth though, I played my first GTA (San Andreas) a couple of years before I turned 18. A friend of mine (L, to be precise) was playing his first GTA (Vice City) in his early teens I think... What does this tell you? Him and I, we've no history of physical violence. In the nine years I've known him (since before the time we became teenagers) I can recall not one incident of any violence, whether instigatory or retaliatory, on his part or mine. That can mean one of two things, either I'm lying (which makes this post pointless, so you've got to trust me on this), or that playing GTA has not altered our mental state in any way.
The question then arises, why aren't we out on the streets smoking, drinking, doing drugs, getting into fights, eve teasing etc. like the rest of my (metaphorical) brethren? Why am I not going to college with guns to shoot people I don't like? Why doesn't the ever-patient L never get impatient and beat someone to a pulp? We're no saints. I'm not going to say that the thought of punching someone's teeth off never crossed our minds. But there was this other thing. It's called a conscience. You would think that anyone with a decent upbringing would have his/her conscience bite him in the backside long before he/she killed someone.
That's it isn't it. Upbringing. There's your revelation. It's not GTA (or a hundred games of the sort (we still <3 you Duke Nukem) ) that make people violent. It's a bad upbringing. And all that these parents are doing, is shirking their responsibility and blaming a bunch of hard working and talented game designers for their mistakes.
So where does it begin? It begins when these modern day parents mollycoddle their precious (and pathetic) children and make them utter wimps. When you're a wimp, it's suddenly very cool to get into a physical fight, isn't it? Then, while you're mollycoddling these children, you don't pay any real attention to them. So these kids, who have learnt no values (but have learnt that they must only drink purified water for their safety) turn to games to pass their time. And that's where they pick up these violent themes.
Other targets for irresponsible parents include Tom and Jerry (too violent for our precious children), Speedy Gonzalez (makes our little weepy children racist), which are, hold your breath, CARTOONS!
Here's an excellent suggestion for these foolish parents, if you don't want your children to become violent, STOP FREAKING HAVING CHILDREN IN THE FIRST PLACE. It's parents like you that are making this world a more miserable place.
PS: Notice how arguments as compelling as the one above can be made for each of the targets that such parents have - cartoons, action movies, vulgar movies, violent movies, etc.
Thursday 11 June 2009
Fail
Fail class III
Failure in female presence
Subcategory B
Failure at an activity that failee is otherwise capable of performing
Classification: Epic Fail
Failure in female presence
Subcategory B
Failure at an activity that failee is otherwise capable of performing
Classification: Epic Fail
Sunday 24 May 2009
When Curses are Blessings
Some of you may know, that we have a new Baba. Abba is passe. Make way for,
*drumroll*
The lord of the universe,
The protector of the innocent,
The decimator of the pseudo-scientists,
The instigator of scientific thought,
The sampler of the delicate rose,
The photographer of the beetle,
The Rose-Beetle Baba, VRD!
So you should guess why he cursed me. We were out on a little trip out of the city. Staying overnight at a village after climbing (and unclimbing) Torna. And we went on and on and on making terrible jokes about the new Baba. He took it quite well for most part, but as the jokes got worse, you could see his expression changing. From the calm and collected look he always has, you could see a pained look entering his face. Finally, he snapped.
[Useful background information]
VRD rejected an IIT to grace our college with his holy presence. Some say that if you know VRD's actual grades, you would have an accurate value of infinity. We usually get grades on a scale of ten. He on the other hand, would be scandalised if he got anything less than ten.
[End of useful background information]
Gathering his reserve, VRD put in as much sneer as a nice chap like him can put into his voice, and cursed me. He thought it was the most terrible curse one could give. He whispered, with a manic grin,
"You, GreySith, You who have insulted me, the holy baba, I curse you! You, will get the paltry result of NINE POINTS for this semester!" A frightening evil laugh followed.
I didn't know what to do. Here I was, struggling to make eight, and he curses that I shall have nine! I found it hard to supress my joy, but I heroically did. I looked at him, glum and sullen, as if it truly was the most terrible thing in the world. He was duly satisfied with my reaction.
The results have come around, and the guy who was struggling to get past eight, has ended up with 8.6! Truly, Jai ho baba!
*drumroll*
The lord of the universe,
The protector of the innocent,
The decimator of the pseudo-scientists,
The instigator of scientific thought,
The sampler of the delicate rose,
The photographer of the beetle,
The Rose-Beetle Baba, VRD!
So you should guess why he cursed me. We were out on a little trip out of the city. Staying overnight at a village after climbing (and unclimbing) Torna. And we went on and on and on making terrible jokes about the new Baba. He took it quite well for most part, but as the jokes got worse, you could see his expression changing. From the calm and collected look he always has, you could see a pained look entering his face. Finally, he snapped.
[Useful background information]
VRD rejected an IIT to grace our college with his holy presence. Some say that if you know VRD's actual grades, you would have an accurate value of infinity. We usually get grades on a scale of ten. He on the other hand, would be scandalised if he got anything less than ten.
[End of useful background information]
Gathering his reserve, VRD put in as much sneer as a nice chap like him can put into his voice, and cursed me. He thought it was the most terrible curse one could give. He whispered, with a manic grin,
"You, GreySith, You who have insulted me, the holy baba, I curse you! You, will get the paltry result of NINE POINTS for this semester!" A frightening evil laugh followed.
I didn't know what to do. Here I was, struggling to make eight, and he curses that I shall have nine! I found it hard to supress my joy, but I heroically did. I looked at him, glum and sullen, as if it truly was the most terrible thing in the world. He was duly satisfied with my reaction.
The results have come around, and the guy who was struggling to get past eight, has ended up with 8.6! Truly, Jai ho baba!
Tuesday 19 May 2009
Back to the pen, wrinkles
The first news of Dr. Manmohan Singh's new cabinet is beginning to leak out. And the most heartening rumours are that Arjun Singh is unlikely to retain the HRD ministry. For those of you who are unaware, Mr. Arjun Singh is the man (?) who added another set of rules that make general category boys a minority. And it's not just the fact that he did it, it's the manner in which he did. It is quite clear that Dr. Singh had no intention of approving Mr. Arjun Singh's suggestions, so Arjun sigh leaked it to the media, knowing full well that once such things are said, thay can't be taken back. And as the country burned over the issue, Mr. Arjun Singh waxed eloquent about his suggestions. As the cornered PM finally relented, Arjun Singh took all the credit. Vile @^#$^@.
After the 2009 election victory, he tried once again to play the same game, saying that the Congress had been swept back to power because of his actions. And I haven't even started about the 6 (or is it 7?) 'new' 'IITs' that run in single buildings. Way to dilute the most respectable educational institution our country has to offer.
This bitter old pile of bones has singlehandedly pointed the higher educational structure of this country toward ruin (while doing nothing at the lower levels, which is where action is needed). He has punished us, the youth, for his incompetance as a minister of any sort. They say that the the more you complain, the more you act miserable, the longer god makes you live. How true.
And the man tipped to take over, is of course, Kapil Sibal. Thoroughly wronged last time around, he was the minister for science (or something like that, that no one cares for). This time might get a job where he can actually do something for the country. Go on Mr. Sibal! Show a bitter old man how the job's done!
After the 2009 election victory, he tried once again to play the same game, saying that the Congress had been swept back to power because of his actions. And I haven't even started about the 6 (or is it 7?) 'new' 'IITs' that run in single buildings. Way to dilute the most respectable educational institution our country has to offer.
This bitter old pile of bones has singlehandedly pointed the higher educational structure of this country toward ruin (while doing nothing at the lower levels, which is where action is needed). He has punished us, the youth, for his incompetance as a minister of any sort. They say that the the more you complain, the more you act miserable, the longer god makes you live. How true.
And the man tipped to take over, is of course, Kapil Sibal. Thoroughly wronged last time around, he was the minister for science (or something like that, that no one cares for). This time might get a job where he can actually do something for the country. Go on Mr. Sibal! Show a bitter old man how the job's done!
Sunday 17 May 2009
A Letter to the Prime Minister
Dr. Singh,
Congratulations on your emphatic victory in the Lok Sabha elections. Now that the elections are over, and you have won such a fantastic victory, we, the youth of the country have a few demands to make of you. Do not worry sir, we are not going to try and arm twist you into something you don't like. We are not the left, and with our votes, we are infinitely more powerful. Without further ado, here are but a few of our demands:
1. Save our economy. You don't have the baggage of the the left with you this time. You are free to push forward whatever reforms you think are suitable for our country.
2. Save our country. You will have a stable government this time. Take the actions that you think will benefit our country and protect us from our unstabel neighbourhood.
3. Get back Dayanidhi Maran. It's a shame that one of the best ministers from your last cabinet had to be removed from the post due to a tiff with Karunanidhi. His replacement, A Raja has shown his true colours by being caught try to distribute telecom spectrum in an unfair (and most likely, self beneficial) manner. We don't need such ministers.
4. No more tainted ministers. It was understandable that you had to accept Shibu Soren's demands to push the deal through, but no more, sir, NO MORE. Let capability select your ministers, rather than the number of seats they have.
Sir, you have nothing, absolutely nothing, stopping you from running this government they way YOU like it. Do not let the allies stop you from doing what is right for us. We have placed our faith in you in swept you back into power, do not disappoint us. Do not disappoint a country looking for hope, from an intellectual, rather than a politician.
Regards
Congratulations on your emphatic victory in the Lok Sabha elections. Now that the elections are over, and you have won such a fantastic victory, we, the youth of the country have a few demands to make of you. Do not worry sir, we are not going to try and arm twist you into something you don't like. We are not the left, and with our votes, we are infinitely more powerful. Without further ado, here are but a few of our demands:
1. Save our economy. You don't have the baggage of the the left with you this time. You are free to push forward whatever reforms you think are suitable for our country.
2. Save our country. You will have a stable government this time. Take the actions that you think will benefit our country and protect us from our unstabel neighbourhood.
3. Get back Dayanidhi Maran. It's a shame that one of the best ministers from your last cabinet had to be removed from the post due to a tiff with Karunanidhi. His replacement, A Raja has shown his true colours by being caught try to distribute telecom spectrum in an unfair (and most likely, self beneficial) manner. We don't need such ministers.
4. No more tainted ministers. It was understandable that you had to accept Shibu Soren's demands to push the deal through, but no more, sir, NO MORE. Let capability select your ministers, rather than the number of seats they have.
Sir, you have nothing, absolutely nothing, stopping you from running this government they way YOU like it. Do not let the allies stop you from doing what is right for us. We have placed our faith in you in swept you back into power, do not disappoint us. Do not disappoint a country looking for hope, from an intellectual, rather than a politician.
Regards
Sunday 10 May 2009
The bridge that sometimes isn't
Sometime in the 17th century,
Moin-ud-din called his men to stop. This would be the last stop for the day. From here on, they would march to Ambavane and halt there for the night. Torna was still day's march away. But it would fall, in a week, it would fall to the Mughal empire! The maratha spies probably knew of the impending assault on Torna. He was sure though, that he would reach the fort before them. A few minutes rest and then they would proceed to Ambavane. He sent two men to fetch water from the river nearby.
Afzal and Ismail walked the short distance to the bank. Unknown to them, the observer watched. They returned to Moin-ud-din, having collected the water they would need for the night. A few sips were passed around and Moin-ud-din called his men to start marching again. Ambavane was only an hours walk away, across the river.
The observer watched in dismay as the brigade of mughal soldiers approached the gate. The gate had been setup centuries ago by the great ones, and it transmitted once in a day. For men to be around the gate at this time would most likely cause the men to die. This was the reason the observers had been appointed at each gate. They were entrusted with the job of ensuring that no men were around when the gates functioned. This observer noted the time, 7:46 PM, local. In exactly fourteen minutes, the gate at the river would open, and in the process destroy the troops.
He mulled over his options. He was blessed by the great ones with the ability to move objects at will. Moving an entire brigade, however, would take too much time, and a few men would perish at the gate. He could cause freak weather, but he was sure the troops would soldier on. Precious minutes ticked by, he still wasn't sure what to do. The gate was beginning to open. The horses began neighing uneasily. That was the cue he needed. He influenced the minds of the panicked beasts and made them turn away and run in the opposite direction.
And run they did. As the foot soldiers scrambled, first out of the way and then after the horses, the observer heaved a sigh of relief. A few men were injured and the entire brigade scattered in the chaos that ensued. The observer made sure that the chaos directed the men away from the gate.
A few hours later, Moin-ud-din was a furious man. He couldn't make out why the horses had panicked when they did. With the brigade in complete disarray, and many men injured, there was no way that he would be able to mount the planned assault on Torna. As the sun began it's rise on the cold winter morning, Moin-ud-din wondered how he would explain this to the emperor. Some distance away, a contented observer looked on to his duties for the new day.
January 2009,
Two people, on a motorcycle were making a trip to a village by the name of Nasrapur. GreySith and Enthu, as they are known in certain circles, were out on a reconnaissance trip to check a site for astronomical observations. They had started late from the city and it was well past 7 PM as they reached Nasrapur Phata. After they turned from the highway, it had been an uneventful, if a little disconcerting, journey. The long winding road, without any lighting was beginning to give both of them a case of nerves. At that time though, both of them were holding on quite well. They made small talk to overpower the nagging fear of what they would do if they were ambushed by a gang of thieves in the darkness of the night. One half of an hour of riding brought them to the prospective site. They were impressed- the sky had never been so clear before. There was a certain joy in the difficulty they faced in locating constellations! Such was the dispersion of dim stars, permanently faded away in the city, that it was hard to identify the stars that they could see regularly from the city. They certainly were satisfied with the site. Enthu spoke to the owner of the site, discussing the monetary aspect of visiting the site for a day. After the discussions drew to a close, they set out on the return journey.
More of the same pattern followed. A little small talk, covering the nagging fear. It was as uneventful as it had been on the journey to the site, until Enthu suddenly felt a jerk. GreySith was bringing the motorcycle to halt, with all the effects- screeching tyres, a slight skid etc, turned up to the max. He was little surprised, then he looked up. The surprise was swiftly replaced by shock, as he and GreySith looked at a bridge that they had no memory of.
"Oh lord, we're lost!" Exclaimed GreySith.
"It cannot be, we've taken the same route that we took on the way here."
"I tell you, we did not cross that bridge!"
"But it's hardly possible, I'm sure we've not taken a wrong turn."
A little panicked now, GreySith repeated, "We did not cross that bridge on the way here. I am completely sure of that."
Enthu tried to get a hold on the situation, tried to remember if they had crossed bridge. The sith was right, they absolutely had not crossed the bridge. Realising however, that it was safer to be moving than stationary, they decided to keep going straight ahead. A few kilometres later, they were surrounded by the familiar town they had passed on the way to the site. Now relieved, GreySith ventured to talk,
"That's it I suppose. We must've missed it..."
"I suppose so... we're on the right road now, all's okay. Do you want me to ride back to Pune?"
"Sure. Works for me, we'll switch places at the highway."
At the highway, they stopped the bike. GreySith happened to look down at the instrument console of the motorcycle. Thoroughly unnerved, he blurted,
"We... we travelled three kilometres more on the way out..."
"Oh %@&#! We didn't cross the bridge then, did we?"
"I don't think we had, not on the way to the site. And I'm sure that we did not take a wrong turn on the way back. Holy &@$?... what the hell just happened?"
"I've no idea mate, lets just head home..."
A few kilometres away, the observer was amused. He had merely picked up the two diminutive humans and put them far across the bridge, so that they would safely miss the gate when it was open. Having done his job again, he looked forward to a brief rest before he resumed his duties the next day...
(The above is a highly fictionalised account of a true occurrence. Read a more realistic interpretation of events, the way Enthu saw it, here)
Moin-ud-din called his men to stop. This would be the last stop for the day. From here on, they would march to Ambavane and halt there for the night. Torna was still day's march away. But it would fall, in a week, it would fall to the Mughal empire! The maratha spies probably knew of the impending assault on Torna. He was sure though, that he would reach the fort before them. A few minutes rest and then they would proceed to Ambavane. He sent two men to fetch water from the river nearby.
Afzal and Ismail walked the short distance to the bank. Unknown to them, the observer watched. They returned to Moin-ud-din, having collected the water they would need for the night. A few sips were passed around and Moin-ud-din called his men to start marching again. Ambavane was only an hours walk away, across the river.
The observer watched in dismay as the brigade of mughal soldiers approached the gate. The gate had been setup centuries ago by the great ones, and it transmitted once in a day. For men to be around the gate at this time would most likely cause the men to die. This was the reason the observers had been appointed at each gate. They were entrusted with the job of ensuring that no men were around when the gates functioned. This observer noted the time, 7:46 PM, local. In exactly fourteen minutes, the gate at the river would open, and in the process destroy the troops.
He mulled over his options. He was blessed by the great ones with the ability to move objects at will. Moving an entire brigade, however, would take too much time, and a few men would perish at the gate. He could cause freak weather, but he was sure the troops would soldier on. Precious minutes ticked by, he still wasn't sure what to do. The gate was beginning to open. The horses began neighing uneasily. That was the cue he needed. He influenced the minds of the panicked beasts and made them turn away and run in the opposite direction.
And run they did. As the foot soldiers scrambled, first out of the way and then after the horses, the observer heaved a sigh of relief. A few men were injured and the entire brigade scattered in the chaos that ensued. The observer made sure that the chaos directed the men away from the gate.
A few hours later, Moin-ud-din was a furious man. He couldn't make out why the horses had panicked when they did. With the brigade in complete disarray, and many men injured, there was no way that he would be able to mount the planned assault on Torna. As the sun began it's rise on the cold winter morning, Moin-ud-din wondered how he would explain this to the emperor. Some distance away, a contented observer looked on to his duties for the new day.
January 2009,
Two people, on a motorcycle were making a trip to a village by the name of Nasrapur. GreySith and Enthu, as they are known in certain circles, were out on a reconnaissance trip to check a site for astronomical observations. They had started late from the city and it was well past 7 PM as they reached Nasrapur Phata. After they turned from the highway, it had been an uneventful, if a little disconcerting, journey. The long winding road, without any lighting was beginning to give both of them a case of nerves. At that time though, both of them were holding on quite well. They made small talk to overpower the nagging fear of what they would do if they were ambushed by a gang of thieves in the darkness of the night. One half of an hour of riding brought them to the prospective site. They were impressed- the sky had never been so clear before. There was a certain joy in the difficulty they faced in locating constellations! Such was the dispersion of dim stars, permanently faded away in the city, that it was hard to identify the stars that they could see regularly from the city. They certainly were satisfied with the site. Enthu spoke to the owner of the site, discussing the monetary aspect of visiting the site for a day. After the discussions drew to a close, they set out on the return journey.
More of the same pattern followed. A little small talk, covering the nagging fear. It was as uneventful as it had been on the journey to the site, until Enthu suddenly felt a jerk. GreySith was bringing the motorcycle to halt, with all the effects- screeching tyres, a slight skid etc, turned up to the max. He was little surprised, then he looked up. The surprise was swiftly replaced by shock, as he and GreySith looked at a bridge that they had no memory of.
"Oh lord, we're lost!" Exclaimed GreySith.
"It cannot be, we've taken the same route that we took on the way here."
"I tell you, we did not cross that bridge!"
"But it's hardly possible, I'm sure we've not taken a wrong turn."
A little panicked now, GreySith repeated, "We did not cross that bridge on the way here. I am completely sure of that."
Enthu tried to get a hold on the situation, tried to remember if they had crossed bridge. The sith was right, they absolutely had not crossed the bridge. Realising however, that it was safer to be moving than stationary, they decided to keep going straight ahead. A few kilometres later, they were surrounded by the familiar town they had passed on the way to the site. Now relieved, GreySith ventured to talk,
"That's it I suppose. We must've missed it..."
"I suppose so... we're on the right road now, all's okay. Do you want me to ride back to Pune?"
"Sure. Works for me, we'll switch places at the highway."
At the highway, they stopped the bike. GreySith happened to look down at the instrument console of the motorcycle. Thoroughly unnerved, he blurted,
"We... we travelled three kilometres more on the way out..."
"Oh %@&#! We didn't cross the bridge then, did we?"
"I don't think we had, not on the way to the site. And I'm sure that we did not take a wrong turn on the way back. Holy &@$?... what the hell just happened?"
"I've no idea mate, lets just head home..."
A few kilometres away, the observer was amused. He had merely picked up the two diminutive humans and put them far across the bridge, so that they would safely miss the gate when it was open. Having done his job again, he looked forward to a brief rest before he resumed his duties the next day...
(The above is a highly fictionalised account of a true occurrence. Read a more realistic interpretation of events, the way Enthu saw it, here)
Thursday 23 April 2009
Tuesday 14 April 2009
It's PHENOMenal!
Okay. I'm a DAAMIT fanboy. For the uninitiated, DAAMIT is the colloquial name for the combine of AMD and ATI. If you've no idea what's happening, now might be a good time to stop reading. To cut a long story, I recently upgraded from this:
AMD Athlon XP 2400+ (Thoroughbred B)
ATI Radeon 9200SE 128MB
and lots of unmentionable stuff,
To this:
AMD Phenom II X3 720 Black Edition (Heka/Deneb)
ATI Radeon HD4850 512MB
And to put it simply, the performance is phenomenal!
And to add the cherry on the cake, the tri core processor that I bought, is actually a quad core with a core disabled. I've successfully enabled the fourth core, and overclocked my quad core to 3.2GHz (from 2.8GHz).
And I built it all myself!
My own before and after pics :
Woohoo!
Follow-up articles (coming soon):
How I built it
Why we need DAAMIT
AMD Athlon XP 2400+ (Thoroughbred B)
ATI Radeon 9200SE 128MB
and lots of unmentionable stuff,
To this:
AMD Phenom II X3 720 Black Edition (Heka/Deneb)
ATI Radeon HD4850 512MB
And to put it simply, the performance is phenomenal!
And to add the cherry on the cake, the tri core processor that I bought, is actually a quad core with a core disabled. I've successfully enabled the fourth core, and overclocked my quad core to 3.2GHz (from 2.8GHz).
And I built it all myself!
My own before and after pics :
Woohoo!
Follow-up articles (coming soon):
How I built it
Why we need DAAMIT
Saturday 28 March 2009
I wish you were here
We went for a star party again day before yesterday. Nasrapur again. This time though, I had decided to take charge of the auxiliary arrangements around the star party and let the others handle the party it self. It left me a couple of hours of free time at the base. So there I was, with nothing to do. I lay down on the ground, looking up to the starry skies. As I lay there, one song came to mind...
The lyrics go like this... Play the video and read along...
I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds
strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
pretending I am weightless
and in this moment I am happy, happy...
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I lay my head unto the sand
the sky resembles a backlit canopy
with holes punched in it
I'm counting UFO's, I signal them with my lighter
and in this moment I am happy, happy...
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
The world is a roller coaster
and I am not strapped in
maybe I should always care
but my hands are busy in the air
I wish you were here
I wish you were...
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here...
A great song, innit?
The lyrics go like this... Play the video and read along...
I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds
strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
pretending I am weightless
and in this moment I am happy, happy...
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I lay my head unto the sand
the sky resembles a backlit canopy
with holes punched in it
I'm counting UFO's, I signal them with my lighter
and in this moment I am happy, happy...
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
The world is a roller coaster
and I am not strapped in
maybe I should always care
but my hands are busy in the air
I wish you were here
I wish you were...
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here...
A great song, innit?
Thursday 19 March 2009
Silly but true!
This morning, I understood the real meaning of showing off. India are playing New Zealand in a three match test series. Tendulkar was playing the last few balls of the day. The light was deteriorating and Tendulkar was visibly unhappy. In the last over before they went off, Tendulkar edged two balls to the slips- though the ball fell short on both occasions. Indicating his unhappiness again, he finally convinced the umpires that he really couldn't see the ball anymore. The umpires called off play, and this was followed by the silliest and funniest bit of commentary I've ever heard. I have no idea who the commentators were, so I'll just refer to them as A and B,
(players walking off)
A: That's the mastery of Tendulkar! Deliberately edging two balls to show the umpires he can't see well... and and ensuring they drop short of the slips!
B: Aww COME ON! He's not that good!
A: (sounding like an indignant school boy) HE IS, HE IS! He is that good!
It made me smile. And it's probably true as well. Because like I said before, I've understood the real meaning of boasting today... I mean Tendulkar- the man is such a show off. Iain O'Brien was bowling one of the last overs of the day. He bowled a short ball to Tendulkar. Tendulkar decided to let it go, and left the ball in his typical style - drop the bat and sway slightly out of the way. Then he decided that would be too boring. He decided he would have some fun at the bowlers expense. By the time he'd made up his mind, the ball was almost past him, so he did the cheekiest thing- swung up the bat and cut the ball high over the slips and into the third man fence for four.
SHOW OFF!
(players walking off)
A: That's the mastery of Tendulkar! Deliberately edging two balls to show the umpires he can't see well... and and ensuring they drop short of the slips!
B: Aww COME ON! He's not that good!
A: (sounding like an indignant school boy) HE IS, HE IS! He is that good!
It made me smile. And it's probably true as well. Because like I said before, I've understood the real meaning of boasting today... I mean Tendulkar- the man is such a show off. Iain O'Brien was bowling one of the last overs of the day. He bowled a short ball to Tendulkar. Tendulkar decided to let it go, and left the ball in his typical style - drop the bat and sway slightly out of the way. Then he decided that would be too boring. He decided he would have some fun at the bowlers expense. By the time he'd made up his mind, the ball was almost past him, so he did the cheekiest thing- swung up the bat and cut the ball high over the slips and into the third man fence for four.
SHOW OFF!
Wednesday 11 March 2009
The render of the veils
It's the title of a horror story by Ramsey Campbell. Among the creepiest stories I've ever read. In synopsis, it's like this:
It's a rainy, gloomy night. Two men, looking for a taxi, decide to share the first one they find. During the taxi drive, they begin to discuss perspectives, and the thought that we do not truly see things for what they are. We see things as we have been trained to see them. One of the men is a worshipper of Daoloth, the render of the veils. Daoloth is the deity who renders the veils that keep humans from seeing what truly is. This man is about to perform a ritual to Daoloth, so Daoloth may remove the veils.
The other enthusiastically agrees and they head to the first's house to perform the ritual. The next morning, police finds both the men dead. They also find a very creepy audio recording of what transpired that night.
I read this story a long time ago. But it has always been at the back of my head. What if what we see, what we feel (as in sensory perception), what we hear, what if it is all a figment of our imagination? An imagination that we have been brought up with?
It struck me how much the perspective changes the way we see things recently. Friends of my parents came home one night. My entire family was at our shop at the other end of the city. I offered to go along with the friends to the shop, since they were not from Pune and didn't know the roads. And it changed the way I see Pune.
Having travelled the length and breadth of the city on a two wheeler for most of my life (generous thank you to the folks at Kinetic Engineering and Honda Motor Scooter India, for the unforgettable experiences I've had on a Kinetic Honda, a Kinetic Nova and a Honda Activa, before my current beast), all the development was unnoticed. I'd seen it change slowly, seen it evolve. But when was the last time I'd travelled through Pune sitting in the back of an Army Gypsy vehicle? A VERY long time ago. Sitting in a Gypsy again, it suddely showed me the contrasts in the Pune of old and the new Pune. It showed me the immense development that had taken place in my city. The city I'd lived in for years. It felt an alien city suddenly.
Another example of this, is the realisation that my college is actually a very beautiful place. When you're busy with college activities, you seldom see how nice the place is. The other day, I took out my camera to take a couple of pics. The realisation didn't dawn on me until I'd started clicking. My college is beautiful. In bits anyway. And it took me the bast part of three years to realise that.
How deep does it go? How much of what we sense is real, and how much of it is what we're supposed to sense? Who can tell?
It's a rainy, gloomy night. Two men, looking for a taxi, decide to share the first one they find. During the taxi drive, they begin to discuss perspectives, and the thought that we do not truly see things for what they are. We see things as we have been trained to see them. One of the men is a worshipper of Daoloth, the render of the veils. Daoloth is the deity who renders the veils that keep humans from seeing what truly is. This man is about to perform a ritual to Daoloth, so Daoloth may remove the veils.
The other enthusiastically agrees and they head to the first's house to perform the ritual. The next morning, police finds both the men dead. They also find a very creepy audio recording of what transpired that night.
I read this story a long time ago. But it has always been at the back of my head. What if what we see, what we feel (as in sensory perception), what we hear, what if it is all a figment of our imagination? An imagination that we have been brought up with?
It struck me how much the perspective changes the way we see things recently. Friends of my parents came home one night. My entire family was at our shop at the other end of the city. I offered to go along with the friends to the shop, since they were not from Pune and didn't know the roads. And it changed the way I see Pune.
Having travelled the length and breadth of the city on a two wheeler for most of my life (generous thank you to the folks at Kinetic Engineering and Honda Motor Scooter India, for the unforgettable experiences I've had on a Kinetic Honda, a Kinetic Nova and a Honda Activa, before my current beast), all the development was unnoticed. I'd seen it change slowly, seen it evolve. But when was the last time I'd travelled through Pune sitting in the back of an Army Gypsy vehicle? A VERY long time ago. Sitting in a Gypsy again, it suddely showed me the contrasts in the Pune of old and the new Pune. It showed me the immense development that had taken place in my city. The city I'd lived in for years. It felt an alien city suddenly.
Another example of this, is the realisation that my college is actually a very beautiful place. When you're busy with college activities, you seldom see how nice the place is. The other day, I took out my camera to take a couple of pics. The realisation didn't dawn on me until I'd started clicking. My college is beautiful. In bits anyway. And it took me the bast part of three years to realise that.
How deep does it go? How much of what we sense is real, and how much of it is what we're supposed to sense? Who can tell?
Monday 23 February 2009
Got the goose!
The title is of course, a reference to a post by falconer, here. The goose was a comet. Comet Lulin, visiting us for the first and last time.
I had been too tired to accompany Falconer and Abba when they tried to spot it a few days ago. Last night, I decided to give it a go myself. Too lazy to setup the telescope. I thought it would be easier to try and spot it through the viewfinder (which is basically a very small telescope, a sidekick of the big one). And spot it I did. A few degrees east of Saturn, in the constellation of Virgo. Looked to me like a faint blur. Not visible to the naked eye, just visible through the viewfinder.
Thanks to last night, I've come up with a new way to use the viewfinder. We tend to use it with only one eye, closing the other so we can concentrate on the view we see from the finder. Last night, I used it with both eyes open. The right eye at the finder eyepiece, looking at the magnified sky, and the left eye open to the heavens. If you have a suitable finder, this is a great trick to use. The left eye gives you a picture of the sky. The right eye can see the cross hairs of the finder. When you want to point at a particular object in the sky, just bring the object (visible in the sky, thanks to left eye) into the cross hairs of the finder (visible in the finder, thanks to left eye). And viola! You'll see it as clear as day bang in the centre of the cross hairs in the finder as well.
The human eyes. Quite amazing. Not only do the presence of two of them, as they are, give us a sense of depth, but the juxtaposition of images that takes place from both eyes lets us perform little tricks like these!
I had been too tired to accompany Falconer and Abba when they tried to spot it a few days ago. Last night, I decided to give it a go myself. Too lazy to setup the telescope. I thought it would be easier to try and spot it through the viewfinder (which is basically a very small telescope, a sidekick of the big one). And spot it I did. A few degrees east of Saturn, in the constellation of Virgo. Looked to me like a faint blur. Not visible to the naked eye, just visible through the viewfinder.
Thanks to last night, I've come up with a new way to use the viewfinder. We tend to use it with only one eye, closing the other so we can concentrate on the view we see from the finder. Last night, I used it with both eyes open. The right eye at the finder eyepiece, looking at the magnified sky, and the left eye open to the heavens. If you have a suitable finder, this is a great trick to use. The left eye gives you a picture of the sky. The right eye can see the cross hairs of the finder. When you want to point at a particular object in the sky, just bring the object (visible in the sky, thanks to left eye) into the cross hairs of the finder (visible in the finder, thanks to left eye). And viola! You'll see it as clear as day bang in the centre of the cross hairs in the finder as well.
The human eyes. Quite amazing. Not only do the presence of two of them, as they are, give us a sense of depth, but the juxtaposition of images that takes place from both eyes lets us perform little tricks like these!
How to rob a superhero
It's childishly simple. Wait for a fantastic director to come along and direct one of the great movies of our time. Hype it up before it releases. Hype it up so much that people expect it not to live up to the hype. Watch it surpass the hype. Watch an ensemble cast deliver a great performance to a thought provoking storyline.
Then the simple part. Deny it even nominations for best movie and best director.
Damn.
Then the simple part. Deny it even nominations for best movie and best director.
Damn.
Sunday 15 February 2009
To be loved
I don't mean romantic love. I mean respect, adulation, adoration, awe. It is the reason why I feel working in an office all day long is tiring. It is not fulfilling. Humans crave all of the emotions I just mentioned. This post has been in my head since the Brazilian Grand Prix (Formula 1) of 2008. The last race of the year. Felipe Massa - a Brazilian in a Ferrari was in with a chance to win the drivers world championship. It was a moving sight, even on TV, to see the crowd in the stands. I cannot imagine any experience in life better than to perform in front of such a large crowd that overwhelmingly supports you. That race had to be seen to be believed. The fan reaction when he crossed the finish line, the drivers champion if the order at that moment held. The deafening silence when the order changed and he lost the drivers championship by a single point. It's hard to describe.
I attended a metal concert a couple of months ago. Ensiferum, at IIT Bombay. I doubt more than 5% of the crowd knew what the band were singing or even who they were. I didn't. But they were fantastic. So much so that I (and if you know me, you'll see how this is a little surprising) landed up in the mosh pit. Took me on another thought voyage. Can you imagine what it would be like to be the band in this case? To have a huge crowd in your grasp, to see that people were having the time of their lives because of you? What would it feel like?
It's not only a showman who can feel this though. Even the lowly engineer can. If he is in the right place that is. (The author apologises for delving deep into graphics processing unit folklore) In the first half of 2008, ATI, the graphics arm of Advanced Micro Devices, came out with the Radeon 4800 series of graphic cards. This series, in way that cannot be comprehended fully, changed the computer graphics industry forever. For so many years, ATI and Nvidia tried to play better (metaphorically). In 2008, ATI stopped trying to play better. It changed the rules. The 4800 series captured the imagination of everyone who cared for this industry. A couple of months later, I came across an article on Anandtech, describing what went into creating the 4800 series. The design team took gambles, audacious gambles, and it all paid off. The comments to that article are relevant to this post. It was a public outpouring of admiration for the folks at ATI.
During a similar time last year, I also saw The Dark Knight in theatres. The first day and the first show. The movie had been hyped to levels I had seldom seen. And it lived up to the hype. In fact, it exceeded the hype. Most of this was thanks to a certain Heath Ledger. I have never seen a movie receive a standing ovation at the end of a screening. That day I did. I'm sorry that the people associated with the film do not get a chance to see this reaction (I'm sure it happened many times over across the world).
Life isn't about how much money you earn. It isn't about how much success you have. It isn't about how many promotions you get. It isn't about how many cars or houses you have. It is about being loved. The love of a small group of people close to you, and the love of a large group of people across the world. I wish that life takes me along a path that will let me achieve my goal in life. Indeed, there is only one. To be loved.
I attended a metal concert a couple of months ago. Ensiferum, at IIT Bombay. I doubt more than 5% of the crowd knew what the band were singing or even who they were. I didn't. But they were fantastic. So much so that I (and if you know me, you'll see how this is a little surprising) landed up in the mosh pit. Took me on another thought voyage. Can you imagine what it would be like to be the band in this case? To have a huge crowd in your grasp, to see that people were having the time of their lives because of you? What would it feel like?
It's not only a showman who can feel this though. Even the lowly engineer can. If he is in the right place that is. (The author apologises for delving deep into graphics processing unit folklore) In the first half of 2008, ATI, the graphics arm of Advanced Micro Devices, came out with the Radeon 4800 series of graphic cards. This series, in way that cannot be comprehended fully, changed the computer graphics industry forever. For so many years, ATI and Nvidia tried to play better (metaphorically). In 2008, ATI stopped trying to play better. It changed the rules. The 4800 series captured the imagination of everyone who cared for this industry. A couple of months later, I came across an article on Anandtech, describing what went into creating the 4800 series. The design team took gambles, audacious gambles, and it all paid off. The comments to that article are relevant to this post. It was a public outpouring of admiration for the folks at ATI.
During a similar time last year, I also saw The Dark Knight in theatres. The first day and the first show. The movie had been hyped to levels I had seldom seen. And it lived up to the hype. In fact, it exceeded the hype. Most of this was thanks to a certain Heath Ledger. I have never seen a movie receive a standing ovation at the end of a screening. That day I did. I'm sorry that the people associated with the film do not get a chance to see this reaction (I'm sure it happened many times over across the world).
Life isn't about how much money you earn. It isn't about how much success you have. It isn't about how many promotions you get. It isn't about how many cars or houses you have. It is about being loved. The love of a small group of people close to you, and the love of a large group of people across the world. I wish that life takes me along a path that will let me achieve my goal in life. Indeed, there is only one. To be loved.
Friday 13 February 2009
Pub Culture
This post was intended to be written shortly after the SRS attacked women for visiting a pub and their declarations that 'Pub culture' was wrong etc. Sadly, with my internet connection being down, I was unable to publish it.
So to the topic at hand. Pubs. What are pubs? Pubs are establishments which are licensed to serve alcoholic beverages. The word Pub is an english (as in from England, not of the language (though it is)) word. Okay. So we have the non Indian connection right there. Other than that, between a (insert word here indicating place that serves desi) and a pub, I beg to ask, what is the difference? The only one I can come up with is that the desi (serving) establishment is more likely to be frequented by the sort of people who waste away their money on alcohol and beat their wives. So, dear SRS, if you think so much about 'Indian culture', why not target these places and the males that visit them. Surely, not taking care of your family and beating your wife is not Indian culture? Or is it allowed because it is quite likely that half your miserable mob does exactly that?
Really. What is wrong with 'Pub culture' ? I've been to a pub a couple of times. I don't drink, but a couple of friends do. The first time, I felt a little awkward. After that though, I've realised that I quite like the atmosphere of the (solitary) pub I have visited. There are no men/women indulging in obscene acts (as the SRS would have us believe). There are merely a bunch of people having fun with their friends. How is that a crime, Mr Muthalik? Surely, your idea of having fun with friends (i.e. beating up hapless women) is more wrong than ours is? There are a bunch of people singing along with the music in the pub. Is that a crime? I didn't know that it was wrong (or un-Indian) to sing songs, no matter how bad a singer you are. If it were, you've got your public enemy number 1 - Himes bhai. What else happens at a pub? People drink - or to put it more plainly, men and women drink alcoholic drinks. So? Why should that be any of your business? If people want to get drunk, that's their personal choice. If they behave in a manner that is inappropriate, that is between the police and these individuals. Where exactly do you come in to this?
Face it, Mr. Muthalik. You are Nothing. Never were anything. Never will be. Take your insignificance, accept it, and live your insignificant life alone.
GO AWAY.
So to the topic at hand. Pubs. What are pubs? Pubs are establishments which are licensed to serve alcoholic beverages. The word Pub is an english (as in from England, not of the language (though it is)) word. Okay. So we have the non Indian connection right there. Other than that, between a
Really. What is wrong with 'Pub culture' ? I've been to a pub a couple of times. I don't drink, but a couple of friends do. The first time, I felt a little awkward. After that though, I've realised that I quite like the atmosphere of the (solitary) pub I have visited. There are no men/women indulging in obscene acts (as the SRS would have us believe). There are merely a bunch of people having fun with their friends. How is that a crime, Mr Muthalik? Surely, your idea of having fun with friends (i.e. beating up hapless women) is more wrong than ours is? There are a bunch of people singing along with the music in the pub. Is that a crime? I didn't know that it was wrong (or un-Indian) to sing songs, no matter how bad a singer you are. If it were, you've got your public enemy number 1 - Himes bhai. What else happens at a pub? People drink - or to put it more plainly, men and women drink alcoholic drinks. So? Why should that be any of your business? If people want to get drunk, that's their personal choice. If they behave in a manner that is inappropriate, that is between the police and these individuals. Where exactly do you come in to this?
Face it, Mr. Muthalik. You are Nothing. Never were anything. Never will be. Take your insignificance, accept it, and live your insignificant life alone.
GO AWAY.
Sunday 18 January 2009
I'm a mid 60s guy
These are words of Enthu. Uttered on the way back from Nasrapur. For a little background, Nasrapur is a village on NH4. We have an active Astronomy club, and we had decided to go to Nasrapur for a star party. Enthu and I went to the site a couple of days earlier to perform a recce of the site, to ensure it's good for our purposes.
We left Pune at 6:40 PM, and got there at around 8:30 PM. Most of that time was wasted in the city. Once we got out on to the highway, we were doing a comfortable average of over 60kmph, touching 85 odd occasionally.
On the way back, I offered to let Enthu ride. He tells me, "I'm not a big fan of speed... I'm a mid 60s guy. You're pretty confident on the bike- when you took that banked turn at 78, 'gote kapaalat geli hoti' for lack of a better phrase." I told him that the bike inspires such confidence.
A push of the starter and a minute later, the mid 60s guy is cruising along at 75kmph and taking banked turns at 80. And touching speeds around 90kmph.
We did in excess of 70kmph on the highway that night. That's a pretty impressive figure on Indian roads. And the rider was riding this particular bike for the first time.
Once we've stopped he tells me, "This bike is fantastic! It just feels so assured and planted to the road! I've ridden many bikes, and never felt confident enough to cross 60kmph for too long a time."
I agree. The Apache RTR is one of the finest pieces of engineering to come out of an Indian company. Too bad the seat is bad, and too bad the engine vibes a bit. But you can't have it all. I'd say the brilliant engineers at Hosur can take a bow.
We left Pune at 6:40 PM, and got there at around 8:30 PM. Most of that time was wasted in the city. Once we got out on to the highway, we were doing a comfortable average of over 60kmph, touching 85 odd occasionally.
On the way back, I offered to let Enthu ride. He tells me, "I'm not a big fan of speed... I'm a mid 60s guy. You're pretty confident on the bike- when you took that banked turn at 78, 'gote kapaalat geli hoti' for lack of a better phrase." I told him that the bike inspires such confidence.
A push of the starter and a minute later, the mid 60s guy is cruising along at 75kmph and taking banked turns at 80. And touching speeds around 90kmph.
We did in excess of 70kmph on the highway that night. That's a pretty impressive figure on Indian roads. And the rider was riding this particular bike for the first time.
Once we've stopped he tells me, "This bike is fantastic! It just feels so assured and planted to the road! I've ridden many bikes, and never felt confident enough to cross 60kmph for too long a time."
I agree. The Apache RTR is one of the finest pieces of engineering to come out of an Indian company. Too bad the seat is bad, and too bad the engine vibes a bit. But you can't have it all. I'd say the brilliant engineers at Hosur can take a bow.
Tuesday 13 January 2009
You don't know what this means....
... until it happens to you.
@ At the other entity involved- no hard feelings, merely an observation.
Disclaimer: The image and alt text are copied exactly as is from xkcd.
(c) xkcd etc.
Monday 12 January 2009
Dam it!
Many years from now, one rule will have been added to the book of unsaid biking rules - Never trust people with the initials ADB (I'm looking at you Abba). We had planned to go to Lonavla yesterday (on bikes obviously) - Abba, the fair Encke and me (Falconer being away). And then the unholy baba pulls out on saturday evening citing "fatigue", once again leaving Encke and me to do all the biking. Like I've said before, too is two few (err...?). Thanks to Abba, we had to drop the Lonavla plan (and had to imagine Falconer with an evil laugh saying 'there can be no chocolate fudge in Lonavla without me! moohahaha!'). Despite Abba's best efforts though, we did go for a ride Sunday morning. The journey was cut short only to Khadakwasla dam, seeing as only two people were going.
We were supposed to meet at Rajaram bridge at 07:15. I got a little late and reached there at 07:30. And there was nobody there (of course - nobody I know - DOH). So out of politeness, I wait for ten minutes for the fair Encke... nobody turns up. I finally called her in ten minutes time. The transcript:
*ring ring*
*cut*
me: (thought) She must almost be here - so the dropped call.
a minute later,
*ring ring*
Me: Hello
Encke (groggy): Uh hello... I just woke up...
Me (incredulous): Whaa?
Encke (still groggy ): Uh yeah... I'm sorry... I'll be there in fifteen minutes
Me (still incredulous): Okay... see you in a bit
Ten minutes later, she's at the bridge
Encke (still a little groggy, but looking very cheerful): Hi!! I'm sorry- I got up late!
Me: Er okay...
Encke: You remember those gloves I bought...
Me: Yes...
Encke: They're both for the same hand!! I have to wear them one correct and one reversed!
Me: *speechless*
After we finally got going, it took us barely one half of an hour to get to the dam. She's been reservoir side, but not the dam side, so we decide to go dam side this time around (the third time for me). We c ame across this really weird place where there were chucks of wall lying around a large meadow... I kid you not!
She tells me to go stand close to one of the wall remnants for a pic,
Encke: Why don't you go stand close to that piece of wall, I'll take a pic
Me (tentative): It's all slushy and mucky there... I'm not too sure
Encke: Oh stop being a wimp. Just go.
Me: Ehehehe there's water there... not a very good idea...
Encke: Gah. Here, take the camera, I'll go.
Me (ungallantly stands aside): Okay.
Encke: It is rather slus hy and mucky.
Me (I told you so tone coming to prominence) : And there's water - can't tell how deep it is...
Encke: Worse still- can't say what's in it!
She thankfully drops the idea.
We then walk about a bit more and find a dry approach to that wall remnant and another. She's a climber, I'm a guy who takes pics - guess what we did. She climbed the wall remnant and I took pics...
On the second wall remnant she climbs, she tells me,
Encke: Hey! this one's easy, you can climb this one...
Me (warily): Are you sure?
Encke: Yes!!
She gets down and then guides me up the wall remnant. She then climbs back up with a tripod. We then take a couple of cringeworthy pics *cringes*.
(The author would like to point out that this cringeworthy pic was taken at the same point that Encke was standing on in the previous pic)
We then went up a little further up - to NDA... Took a few pics there. A fun ride, like the first two to Khadakwasla were! And the next time, we ARE going to Lonavla Abba, with or without you.
Rest of the pics can be found here. I would've taken the credit for these pics (Encke took most of them) but then again, Encke's a comet. Comets are hot, glowing balls of fire (oh the melodrama!). Being struck by one isn't my idea of a good time. So yes- the credit for most of these (rather nice) photos goes to Encke. Like I said, the next stop is Lonavla.
We were supposed to meet at Rajaram bridge at 07:15. I got a little late and reached there at 07:30. And there was nobody there (of course - nobody I know - DOH). So out of politeness, I wait for ten minutes for the fair Encke... nobody turns up. I finally called her in ten minutes time. The transcript:
*ring ring*
*cut*
a minute later,
*ring ring*
Me: Hello
Encke (groggy): Uh hello... I just woke up...
Me (incredulous): Whaa?
Me (still incredulous): Okay... see you in a bit
Ten minutes later, she's at the bridge
Encke (still a little
Me: Er okay...
Encke: You remember those gloves I bought...
Me: Yes...
Encke: They're both for the same hand!! I have to wear them one correct and one reversed!
Me: *speechless*
After we fin
Encke: Why don't you go stand close to that piece of wall, I'll take a pic
Me (tentative): It's all slushy and
Encke: Oh stop being a wimp. Just
Me: Ehehehe there's water there... not a very good idea...
Encke: Gah. Here, take the camera, I'll go.
Me (ungallantly stands
Encke: It is rather slus
Me (I told you so tone coming to prominence) : And there's water - can't tell how deep it is...
Encke: Worse still- can't say what's in it!
She thankfully drops the idea.
Encke: Hey! this one's easy, you can climb this one...
Me (warily): Are you sure?
Encke: Yes!!
She gets down and then guides me up the wall remnant. She then climbs back up with a tripod. We then take a couple of cringeworthy pics *cringes*.
We then went up a little further up - to NDA... Took a few pics there. A fun ride, like the first two to Khadakwasla were! And the next time, we ARE going to Lonavla Abba, with or without you.
Rest of the pics can be found here. I would've taken the credit for these pics (Encke took most of them) but then again, Encke's a comet. Comets are hot, glowing balls of fire (oh the melodrama!). Being struck by one isn't my idea of a good time. So yes- the credit for most of these (rather nice) photos goes to Encke. Like I said, the next stop is Lonavla.
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