Went out for a friend's birthday party. A couple of things happened over the course of the night that I'd like to write about...
#1 - Talking to a friend, Sa,
Sa: You've tasted most of the beer we drink.. what do you think?
Me: Meh... it's so bitter, why drink it?
Sa: See, it's not about bitter... It gives me a mild high, which I like. The bitter doesn't matter to me.
Me: But aren't there better tasting things to get a high with?
Sa: Such as what?
Me: Adrenaline for one... not that you get to taste it...
Sa: And how do you suppose I get adrenaline?
Me: Bikes... Doing crazy things on a bike really gets the adrenaline pumping
Sa: And yeah, you expect me to do crazy stuff on a Pep?
Me: *speechless*
Ah well, to each his own...
#2 - Having dinner,
A friend of the b'day boy (I don't know him directly (the friend, not the b'day boy)) was trying to squeeze a lemon onto some food,
H: What the hell man, no juice in this lemon...
Sa: Arre woh nimbu nahi, mazaak hai...
H (signalling a waiter) : Arre bhaiiya nimbu laana... mazaak nahin
*laughter all around*
Ha Ha
Monday, 26 October 2009
Sunday, 25 October 2009
So Beautiful
It's the sort of thing that you can really appreciate after an annoying day. Having slept most of the day with a sore throat, fever and a nasty cold, sleep was hard to come by at night. Restlessly pacing about in the balcony, with nothing to do, I happened to look up. The sky was astonishingly clear (compared to last year). It took me a few seconds to orient myself. Suddenly it all came flooding back...
There was a distorted M, now setting into the west...
There was the 'V' (not for vendetta) of Taurus...
And there was an all too familiar fuzzy patch in the sky...
It was too clear for it to be true. I actually spent the next few seconds making sure that it was, in fact, Pleiades. And it was. Photographs are insufficient, when it comes to the Pleiades.
That photo is very nice and all that, but it is nothing compared to how dainty Pleiades really looks when seen with the naked eye. The wonder multiplies when you look through a telescope- it's almost stellar spam!
It's something you must do at least once in your life- see the pleiades in all its glory. Like the title says - so beautiful.
There was a distorted M, now setting into the west...
There was the 'V' (not for vendetta) of Taurus...
And there was an all too familiar fuzzy patch in the sky...
It was too clear for it to be true. I actually spent the next few seconds making sure that it was, in fact, Pleiades. And it was. Photographs are insufficient, when it comes to the Pleiades.
That photo is very nice and all that, but it is nothing compared to how dainty Pleiades really looks when seen with the naked eye. The wonder multiplies when you look through a telescope- it's almost stellar spam!It's something you must do at least once in your life- see the pleiades in all its glory. Like the title says - so beautiful.
Thursday, 22 October 2009
Death of Democracy
Now of course, some of you will say, 'Democracy is a concept, you can't kill it.' No? Ask the Congress and the BJP. They just did. Let's explore the political scenario in Maharashtra by way of an analogy:
Consider the Congress to be the batting side, and the BJP the bowling side (since the Congress is trying to stay 'in' power and the BJP trying to get it 'out'). The performance of the Congress over the past ten years has been so poor that few would disagree with me when I compare the entire Congress 'team' to Chris Martin (batting). Now, faced with the task of bowling at a rank tailender, the BJP had the following options:
1. Tear them apart with a savage pace and spin attack ala Brett Lee + Shane Warne. It'll be a matter of minutes before the Congree folds.
2. Bowl part-timers (i.e. VVS Laxman, Rahul Dravid, Inzamam ul-Haq, SS Das etc.). It'll take a while, but it'll be fun, and Rahul Dravid might even get a hat-trick.
3. Don't do anything. The Congress team is full of such ineptitude that they would find a way to get themselve out even if you didn't bowl at them.
4. Get Brendon McCullum, MSK Prasad and Adam Gilchrist to bowl long hops and low full tosses at 20kmph. So many of the balls will be wide that they Congress actually stands to win in this scenario.
Guess which option they took?
Exactly - #4
I cannot fully comprehend how the BJP/SS managed to lose this election. It must've taken some doing, that's for sure. In a good democracy, people hope that the best people come to power. In an average democracy, people hope that the least evil people come to power. However, it is seldom that people have hoped that meteors rain down from the heavens onto every politician from every party that contested. This is one of those times.
What is most annoying is the list of reasons coming from the political parties:
1. Congress: The people have voted in favour of our governance (what governance?)
2. Congress: We have won on the back of our policies (huh?)
3. SS: We lost because the MNS took our votes (sore losers)
4. BJP: The EVMs make the Congress win (WTF!?)
Sounds more like a rule-book of fibbing. Idiots.
Consider the Congress to be the batting side, and the BJP the bowling side (since the Congress is trying to stay 'in' power and the BJP trying to get it 'out'). The performance of the Congress over the past ten years has been so poor that few would disagree with me when I compare the entire Congress 'team' to Chris Martin (batting). Now, faced with the task of bowling at a rank tailender, the BJP had the following options:
1. Tear them apart with a savage pace and spin attack ala Brett Lee + Shane Warne. It'll be a matter of minutes before the Congree folds.
2. Bowl part-timers (i.e. VVS Laxman, Rahul Dravid, Inzamam ul-Haq, SS Das etc.). It'll take a while, but it'll be fun, and Rahul Dravid might even get a hat-trick.
3. Don't do anything. The Congress team is full of such ineptitude that they would find a way to get themselve out even if you didn't bowl at them.
4. Get Brendon McCullum, MSK Prasad and Adam Gilchrist to bowl long hops and low full tosses at 20kmph. So many of the balls will be wide that they Congress actually stands to win in this scenario.
Guess which option they took?
Exactly - #4
I cannot fully comprehend how the BJP/SS managed to lose this election. It must've taken some doing, that's for sure. In a good democracy, people hope that the best people come to power. In an average democracy, people hope that the least evil people come to power. However, it is seldom that people have hoped that meteors rain down from the heavens onto every politician from every party that contested. This is one of those times.
What is most annoying is the list of reasons coming from the political parties:
1. Congress: The people have voted in favour of our governance (what governance?)
2. Congress: We have won on the back of our policies (huh?)
3. SS: We lost because the MNS took our votes (sore losers)
4. BJP: The EVMs make the Congress win (WTF!?)
Sounds more like a rule-book of fibbing. Idiots.
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
Growing up
Is the time it takes for the Birthday flag in your status register to go from:
1 - Yipeee!! Birthday time
to
0 - Heh, it's my birthday
to
x - Don't care
1 - Yipeee!! Birthday time
to
0 - Heh, it's my birthday
to
x - Don't care
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
Dereliction of Duty
Every time I'm riding on a fly-over, the speed limits make me laugh. I can't exceed 30kmph on a fly-over? Really? Why'd you build one then? Speed limits on Indian roads are unbelievable. I find it preposterous that on the excellent Pune-Bombay expressway, the maximum speed I'm allowed to travel at is 80kmph.
I have it on good authority that the expressway is good enough to travel at over 200kmph. It's only around 220kmph that the first signs of vibrations begin to appear. Why exactly is it then, that an 8 lane express way limits your speed to 80kmph? I regularly do 80kmph on city roads, in the day time. And it's not rash. Fast and rash are different. The problem is actually one of complete apathy on the part of the traffic police authorities.
The procedure to get a licence is rife with corruption. I'm sure half the people on road today paid their way into a licence. Those who got a licence properly (like me) will agree that the procedure is laughable. You do not need any road sense whatsoever to get a licence. Therefore, you have blathering idiots on road, who have no sense of traffic, machine or ability. These idiots are the ones who ride/drive rash and kill people.
What's the solution? Revamp the entire system. Make it mandatory for everyone to get their licences reissued after a proper exam that tests most aspects of city driving. Sure it'll be tedious and inconvenient, but a line has to be drawn somewhere. In Dubai, issue of a licence is met with a party and wild celebrations. Here, it's nowhere as hard to get.
But what is it that the police does? Nothing. And the worst part is, they wash their hands off all accountability by setting laughable speed limits. The moment someone dies, it wasn't because the fool shouldn't have been driving in the first place, it's because he was overspeeding!? The police transfers all blame to the victims of the system, and merrily go about their work (whatever is left after the shirking is complete) .
If you were to compare our speed limits to the US, you'll find quite a contrast. Speed limits on internal roads in the states are around 30mph. That's about 50kmph. And our traffic police, in all their glory, sets a speed limit of 30kmph on a fly-over!? When will they learn that the solution is not to absolve the system of responsibility by blaming the idiots who made it through the system? The solution is to make sure that idiots aren't allowed to be on the road in the first place. The benefits would eventually outweigh the obstacles. Our roads will be safer and faster. Fewer people will die. Admittedly, it'll be a pain to get our licences ratified again. There will be a major public outcry against it (like when helmets and seat belts were made compulsory). The real reason is not the trouble involved. The real trouble is that most people will fail. But it must happen. I'm willing to subject myself to another test. As long as it does not involve wheelies and stoppies, I'm sure I'll clear it.
I'm looking forward to your opinions.
I have it on good authority that the expressway is good enough to travel at over 200kmph. It's only around 220kmph that the first signs of vibrations begin to appear. Why exactly is it then, that an 8 lane express way limits your speed to 80kmph? I regularly do 80kmph on city roads, in the day time. And it's not rash. Fast and rash are different. The problem is actually one of complete apathy on the part of the traffic police authorities.
The procedure to get a licence is rife with corruption. I'm sure half the people on road today paid their way into a licence. Those who got a licence properly (like me) will agree that the procedure is laughable. You do not need any road sense whatsoever to get a licence. Therefore, you have blathering idiots on road, who have no sense of traffic, machine or ability. These idiots are the ones who ride/drive rash and kill people.
What's the solution? Revamp the entire system. Make it mandatory for everyone to get their licences reissued after a proper exam that tests most aspects of city driving. Sure it'll be tedious and inconvenient, but a line has to be drawn somewhere. In Dubai, issue of a licence is met with a party and wild celebrations. Here, it's nowhere as hard to get.
But what is it that the police does? Nothing. And the worst part is, they wash their hands off all accountability by setting laughable speed limits. The moment someone dies, it wasn't because the fool shouldn't have been driving in the first place, it's because he was overspeeding!? The police transfers all blame to the victims of the system, and merrily go about their work (whatever is left after the shirking is complete) .
If you were to compare our speed limits to the US, you'll find quite a contrast. Speed limits on internal roads in the states are around 30mph. That's about 50kmph. And our traffic police, in all their glory, sets a speed limit of 30kmph on a fly-over!? When will they learn that the solution is not to absolve the system of responsibility by blaming the idiots who made it through the system? The solution is to make sure that idiots aren't allowed to be on the road in the first place. The benefits would eventually outweigh the obstacles. Our roads will be safer and faster. Fewer people will die. Admittedly, it'll be a pain to get our licences ratified again. There will be a major public outcry against it (like when helmets and seat belts were made compulsory). The real reason is not the trouble involved. The real trouble is that most people will fail. But it must happen. I'm willing to subject myself to another test. As long as it does not involve wheelies and stoppies, I'm sure I'll clear it.
I'm looking forward to your opinions.
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Of Embarrassing Things Heard and Read...
After a long series of posts devoid of any new characters or embarrassing stories, GreySith returns with more tales that will make you laugh (or cringe). So, here are our principal characters:
GreySith
Enthu
M (for lack of a better name)
Poo
and quickGan, in a guest appearance
The scene:
We're waiting for a bunch of people to finish writing articles that might get them entry into the college magazine. There's a topic still to be announced, and M, Poo, Enthu and I are discussing what that topic should be...
M walks off for a bit to answer a phone call or something...
Enthu: I have a great idea - scent of a woman!
Poo: (strange expression)
Me: Yes, but what do you want the women to write?
Poo: (little grin) section 377...
Enthu: Yeah man!
Me: Come on...
M returns at this point of time
M: So do we have a topic?
Enthu: Ye..ah
M: ?
Me: Enthu, let's not go there. Do you want me to tell her about the other topic you had in mind?
Enthu: No...!
Me: You want to go home nah?
Enthu: Err yeah...
M: (misunderstanding the situation) WHAT? You had 'Do you want to go home' as a topic? That's soo seedy. What a horrid pick-up line!
Enthu: No no no...
Me: No, No. I'll tell you
Enthu: NO! I'll start narrating embarrassing things you said...
Me: It was 'Women are like cell phones- as long as you press the right buttons, you'll be happy, but you press the wrong button, and you're disconnected'
M: (WTF expression on her face)
Poo: (laughing)
Me: Besides, what's the worst you could come up with... the GE silicon thing...
Enthu: Hell yeah!
Me: I'll tell them anyway... So I was in a student meeting, explaining how we sealed a particular joint... and we had used this chemical called GE silicon. I kinda forgot the name at the instant I was supposed to say it. I remembered that it was two letters... some two letters. I ended up saying 'KY'. (both the girls burst into laughter) I did correct it though...
Enthu: Yeah I remember that one... There were all these impressionable juniors, and they were noting down what he was saying. And he said 'KY gel', not just KY.
Everyone was laughing at that point.
Cut to a little later, when quickGan makes an appearance. We've just got all the entries and we're looking at them.
M: Look, there's a guy with an email id like tush.something@something.com
Enthu: Jaane do... strange ids people come up with.
M: Imagine how weird it would sound to tell someone that id.
Enthu: Never mind that, someone is going to tell him 'duude you've got a tush in your email'
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
quickGan: I sorta missed the joke, what's going on?
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
quickGan: Arre explain the joke nah...
M: You know we're looking like retards with you two laughing like that...
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHA... (looks at Poo and M) Look at them, they're completely stoned... HAHAHAHAHA
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... my stomach hurts...
M: (probably disturbed by the sight of two guys laughing their guts out) Come on, we've got to go...
quickGan: (still confused) but why are you laughing so hard?
Poo: Stop already...
Me: Hahahahahaha
Enthu: Hahahahahahaha... 'you've got a... tush in your email...' hahahahahahaha
I have no idea how long we kept the (somewhat) annoyed M, confused quickGan and Poo waiting. But that was the hardest laugh I've had in long time. I hope you did too!
GreySith
Enthu
M (for lack of a better name)
Poo
and quickGan, in a guest appearance
The scene:
We're waiting for a bunch of people to finish writing articles that might get them entry into the college magazine. There's a topic still to be announced, and M, Poo, Enthu and I are discussing what that topic should be...
M walks off for a bit to answer a phone call or something...
Enthu: I have a great idea - scent of a woman!
Poo: (strange expression)
Me: Yes, but what do you want the women to write?
Poo: (little grin) section 377...
Enthu: Yeah man!
Me: Come on...
M returns at this point of time
M: So do we have a topic?
Enthu: Ye..ah
M: ?
Me: Enthu, let's not go there. Do you want me to tell her about the other topic you had in mind?
Enthu: No...!
Me: You want to go home nah?
Enthu: Err yeah...
M: (misunderstanding the situation) WHAT? You had 'Do you want to go home' as a topic? That's soo seedy. What a horrid pick-up line!
Enthu: No no no...
Me: No, No. I'll tell you
Enthu: NO! I'll start narrating embarrassing things you said...
Me: It was 'Women are like cell phones- as long as you press the right buttons, you'll be happy, but you press the wrong button, and you're disconnected'
M: (WTF expression on her face)
Poo: (laughing)
Me: Besides, what's the worst you could come up with... the GE silicon thing...
Enthu: Hell yeah!
Me: I'll tell them anyway... So I was in a student meeting, explaining how we sealed a particular joint... and we had used this chemical called GE silicon. I kinda forgot the name at the instant I was supposed to say it. I remembered that it was two letters... some two letters. I ended up saying 'KY'. (both the girls burst into laughter) I did correct it though...
Enthu: Yeah I remember that one... There were all these impressionable juniors, and they were noting down what he was saying. And he said 'KY gel', not just KY.
Everyone was laughing at that point.
Cut to a little later, when quickGan makes an appearance. We've just got all the entries and we're looking at them.
M: Look, there's a guy with an email id like tush.something@something.com
Enthu: Jaane do... strange ids people come up with.
M: Imagine how weird it would sound to tell someone that id.
Enthu: Never mind that, someone is going to tell him 'duude you've got a tush in your email'
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
quickGan: I sorta missed the joke, what's going on?
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
quickGan: Arre explain the joke nah...
M: You know we're looking like retards with you two laughing like that...
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHA... (looks at Poo and M) Look at them, they're completely stoned... HAHAHAHAHA
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... my stomach hurts...
M: (probably disturbed by the sight of two guys laughing their guts out) Come on, we've got to go...
quickGan: (still confused) but why are you laughing so hard?
Poo: Stop already...
Me: Hahahahahaha
Enthu: Hahahahahahaha... 'you've got a... tush in your email...' hahahahahahaha
I have no idea how long we kept the (somewhat) annoyed M, confused quickGan and Poo waiting. But that was the hardest laugh I've had in long time. I hope you did too!
Gear Happy
The other day, I was in Camp, and noticed this guy who rode past at high revs in the first gear. My thoughts, in order, were:
'Poor sod. No one told him his bike has five gears'
'Or maybe no one told him where the shifter was'
'He might also have thought his pulsar was an automatic transmission bike'
I love the gearbox. A well designed gearbox ranks in the same category as digital watches and soap bubbles, when it comes to making people happy. People accuse me of using the gears too much, but god gave us the gearbox to use it! Over the past few months, I've practised a ton of gearbox skills, such as engine braking, cutting down brake use by 90%, seamless shifting etc. It's a lot of fun.
People who ride (or drive) ATs have no idea what they're missing out in a Manual. This post is probably a little random, but is serves a purpose. I want to pay homage to the guy who invented the gearbox (and God) for this priceless gift to mankind. Thank you.
'Poor sod. No one told him his bike has five gears'
'Or maybe no one told him where the shifter was'
'He might also have thought his pulsar was an automatic transmission bike'
I love the gearbox. A well designed gearbox ranks in the same category as digital watches and soap bubbles, when it comes to making people happy. People accuse me of using the gears too much, but god gave us the gearbox to use it! Over the past few months, I've practised a ton of gearbox skills, such as engine braking, cutting down brake use by 90%, seamless shifting etc. It's a lot of fun.
People who ride (or drive) ATs have no idea what they're missing out in a Manual. This post is probably a little random, but is serves a purpose. I want to pay homage to the guy who invented the gearbox (and God) for this priceless gift to mankind. Thank you.
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