(Dis)Belief

The Ayodhya verdict has come, and I've finally been able to have a decent look at it. I like the fact that the court wants an amicable solution that does not hurt any particular religion. There is one thing that riles me - the fact that the HC seems to have implicitly accepted (if not declared) that the Babri Masjid dome was the birthplace of Ram.

Too many questions come to mind here. But basically, how can anyone prove beyond doubt that Ram was born at that exact location? Does some scripture mention exact geographic co-ordinates? Just because people believe something doesn't mean it's true. If that's how the judgement is going to work, let me stake a claim too.

I claim, nay, I believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster was born at the exact same location that is the claimed birthplace of Ram. Further, my scriptures say that FSM was born there before Ram. That is where his noodly appendage first touched man. I therefore stake claim to the disputed land.


The land must be handed over to the Church of Pastafarianism and we must be allowed to build a monument (probably spaghetti and meatballs) to FSM. According to the HC, this belief is all I need to 'prove' that FSM was indeed born there. I have not furnished a shred of evidence (because FSM was born thousands of years ago, before Ram), but my claim is as valid as the claim for a Temple there. Ridiculous.

There is documented proof of a Mosque there. There is specious evidence (?), if any, of a temple or of anyone being born there. So lets go by the evidence - build a Mosque there. Build a temple adjacent to it. And lets live peacefully ever after, not letting idiot politicians divide us again.

All wrong!

I was searching google for the term 'books'. Google's collection of Related Searches includes 'Twilight books'.

This is wrong! Books and twilight are not related, except by the loosest definition of the word book.

Owned!

Cutting sarcasm is a way of life. Circuitous speech is the only way I can talk any more. It's almost like I've forgotten how to talk 'normally'. The only rule is that if you're going dish it out, you should also be willing to take it in spirit.

I'm sitting in the car with my mum, she's driving. It's drizzling, and a film of mist begins to develop on the windscreen. She turns on the air conditioner to get rid of that mist. A few minutes later, the mist begins to develop again.

Me: You should turn up the AC, that should fix it.
Mum: The mist is on the outside, not the inside.
Me: Yeah, right. Just turn up the AC, you'll see.
Mum:

Then she flicks the wiper switch, and the mist gets cleaned up in one swipe of the wiper blades.

Now I'm silenced. Well play, mum!

It must be true...

if Einstein says so...

Procreation

This is a response to this blog post:
Existence
Please give that a read before you continue reading this.

(No, seriously!)

Now that you've read it, a little recap - Abhishek asks why people want to have children. I present my response to this question:

1. Because: They like children
Individual choice stands for a lot, and people like many things that make no sense to other people. There will also be people who must be in a relationship. Others will find that confounding. People want to have children, so they will.

2. Because: The BPL argument
A history teacher once put forward this argument to explain why you tend to see really poor people have large families. Poor people think that raising more children means there will be more people to support the family, and themselves. The said teacher had also, quite rightly pointed out - if there must be x number of children born every day, let them be born into a family that can support the children. The BPL argument is inherently flawed, but it is true.

3. Because: Cogito Ergo Sum
Man thinks, therefore he is. I like to believe that one of the most fundamental needs of the human race is the desire to gain knowledge. Knowledge comes from new ideas. New ideas cannot come about from an ageing, dying race of people. New ideas need new people - a new generation.

4. Because: Legacy
Another fundamental desire of the human race is to leave behind a legacy. Everyone wants to die knowing that someone, somewhere will remember them. For great luminaries of any generation, this is easy - their acts leave behind a legacy that will remind future generations of them. An ordinary person (by virtue of being ordinary) does not have access to this sort of legacy. Procreation is another way of being remembered. Your children will remember you. It's not as great a legacy as that left behind by a great scientist, but it's better than none.

5. Because: Anarchy
One of the reasons that the world at least attempts to control its excesses is so that something maybe left behind for the future generations. If the whole world were to go completely, and irreversibly sterile - it would be worse for the planet than it is now. Today you try to minimise using a fuel guzzling SUV because you want to limit the harm you cause to the planet. If there is no future, you might as well trash the planet as you go. And make no mistake - that is exactly what will happen. 2000 years of (recent) history point out that humanity is not a race well suited to compromise and agreement.

6. Because: It makes no difference if Humanity dies out
If the human race dies out, you only buy the planet a few million years. It's a seemingly long time, but not very long when compared to the age of the earth. A new dominant species will rise, and will eventually behave the same as we do now.

7. Because: Natural Selection
Natural selection is the reason why we're all here today. Natural selection exists on simple principles - the race must go one, and only the best of the race must go on. Consider a situation where the six billion people of the world have agreed to not reproduce. There will be people who will circumvent this agreement- let us say 2 million people, giving birth to a million babies. You can act all hurt about these people breaking the pact, but it will actually be Natural Selection acting in its best interests- the genes of those unfit to carry on the race, the 5.998 billion who abstained, are eliminated from the gene pool. The remaining million face possibly the best quality of life in modern history.

Finally - Abhishek says, "We exist, therefore, we protect existence." This is not a unique thought. It's just a rewording of natural selection. Every species exists to protect its own existence. There is nothing special about humans in this respect - it is a part of the instinct that every animal shares.

Those are some reasons for people to have babies. I don't agree with all of them, just some of them.

But Why?

Pakistani cricketers leave me confused. They are, on natural talent, probably the best team in the world. And yet, their cricketers indulge in some of the most brainless behaviour you can ever see. Take Shoaib Akhtar. A brilliant natural talent, a sight to see when on form, and yet he had to go take performance enhancing drugs. Ditto Mohammad Asif. Easily one of the best pace bowlers in the world right now, and he goes and takes drugs. I don't get it. What is it that these people are trying to improve? Their speed? Swing? What exactly is the point!?
I can understand if someone mediocre like Munaf Patel decides to take performance enhancing drugs (and he hasn't, I hope). What is the justification for taking illegal drugs when you're already SO DAMN GOOD!?

And that brings me to Mohammad Amir. All of 17. Already heralded as the next great pace bowler. And then you see him indulging in spot fixing. Again, why? It's not like he is (was?) a struggling nobody who couldn't be sure of his place on the team. He was probably the first automatic selection before every match. Why risk all that for some money?

I find it very perplexing. I feel sad that the match I thought was such a brilliant marquee for the game was fixed (if even in bits). Pakistan produces such an abundance of natural talent... if only they'd think a bit, the world would be better for it.

Weapon of mass STFU

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Innocent looking Drive

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Destroyer of Worlds