Dereliction of Duty

Every time I'm riding on a fly-over, the speed limits make me laugh. I can't exceed 30kmph on a fly-over? Really? Why'd you build one then? Speed limits on Indian roads are unbelievable. I find it preposterous that on the excellent Pune-Bombay expressway, the maximum speed I'm allowed to travel at is 80kmph.

I have it on good authority that the expressway is good enough to travel at over 200kmph. It's only around 220kmph that the first signs of vibrations begin to appear. Why exactly is it then, that an 8 lane express way limits your speed to 80kmph? I regularly do 80kmph on city roads, in the day time. And it's not rash. Fast and rash are different. The problem is actually one of complete apathy on the part of the traffic police authorities.

The procedure to get a licence is rife with corruption. I'm sure half the people on road today paid their way into a licence. Those who got a licence properly (like me) will agree that the procedure is laughable. You do not need any road sense whatsoever to get a licence. Therefore, you have blathering idiots on road, who have no sense of traffic, machine or ability. These idiots are the ones who ride/drive rash and kill people.

What's the solution? Revamp the entire system. Make it mandatory for everyone to get their licences reissued after a proper exam that tests most aspects of city driving. Sure it'll be tedious and inconvenient, but a line has to be drawn somewhere. In Dubai, issue of a licence is met with a party and wild celebrations. Here, it's nowhere as hard to get.

But what is it that the police does? Nothing. And the worst part is, they wash their hands off all accountability by setting laughable speed limits. The moment someone dies, it wasn't because the fool shouldn't have been driving in the first place, it's because he was overspeeding!? The police transfers all blame to the victims of the system, and merrily go about their work (whatever is left after the shirking is complete) .

If you were to compare our speed limits to the US, you'll find quite a contrast. Speed limits on internal roads in the states are around 30mph. That's about 50kmph. And our traffic police, in all their glory, sets a speed limit of 30kmph on a fly-over!? When will they learn that the solution is not to absolve the system of responsibility by blaming the idiots who made it through the system? The solution is to make sure that idiots aren't allowed to be on the road in the first place. The benefits would eventually outweigh the obstacles. Our roads will be safer and faster. Fewer people will die. Admittedly, it'll be a pain to get our licences ratified again. There will be a major public outcry against it (like when helmets and seat belts were made compulsory). The real reason is not the trouble involved. The real trouble is that most people will fail. But it must happen. I'm willing to subject myself to another test. As long as it does not involve wheelies and stoppies, I'm sure I'll clear it.

I'm looking forward to your opinions.

Of Embarrassing Things Heard and Read...

After a long series of posts devoid of any new characters or embarrassing stories, GreySith returns with more tales that will make you laugh (or cringe). So, here are our principal characters:
GreySith
Enthu
M (for lack of a better name)
Poo
and quickGan, in a guest appearance

The scene:
We're waiting for a bunch of people to finish writing articles that might get them entry into the college magazine. There's a topic still to be announced, and M, Poo, Enthu and I are discussing what that topic should be...
M walks off for a bit to answer a phone call or something...
Enthu: I have a great idea - scent of a woman!
Poo: (strange expression)
Me: Yes, but what do you want the women to write?
Poo: (little grin) section 377...
Enthu: Yeah man!
Me: Come on...
M returns at this point of time
M: So do we have a topic?
Enthu: Ye..ah
M: ?
Me: Enthu, let's not go there. Do you want me to tell her about the other topic you had in mind?
Enthu: No...!
Me: You want to go home nah?
Enthu: Err yeah...
M: (misunderstanding the situation) WHAT? You had 'Do you want to go home' as a topic? That's soo seedy. What a horrid pick-up line!
Enthu: No no no...
Me: No, No. I'll tell you
Enthu: NO! I'll start narrating embarrassing things you said...
Me: It was 'Women are like cell phones- as long as you press the right buttons, you'll be happy, but you press the wrong button, and you're disconnected'
M: (WTF expression on her face)
Poo: (laughing)
Me: Besides, what's the worst you could come up with... the GE silicon thing...
Enthu: Hell yeah!
Me: I'll tell them anyway... So I was in a student meeting, explaining how we sealed a particular joint... and we had used this chemical called GE silicon. I kinda forgot the name at the instant I was supposed to say it. I remembered that it was two letters... some two letters. I ended up saying 'KY'. (both the girls burst into laughter) I did correct it though...
Enthu: Yeah I remember that one... There were all these impressionable juniors, and they were noting down what he was saying. And he said 'KY gel', not just KY.
Everyone was laughing at that point.

Cut to a little later, when quickGan makes an appearance. We've just got all the entries and we're looking at them.
M: Look, there's a guy with an email id like tush.something@something.com
Enthu: Jaane do... strange ids people come up with.
M: Imagine how weird it would sound to tell someone that id.
Enthu: Never mind that, someone is going to tell him 'duude you've got a tush in your email'
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
quickGan: I sorta missed the joke, what's going on?
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
quickGan: Arre explain the joke nah...
M: You know we're looking like retards with you two laughing like that...
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Enthu: HAHAHAHA... (looks at Poo and M) Look at them, they're completely stoned... HAHAHAHAHA
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... my stomach hurts...
M: (probably disturbed by the sight of two guys laughing their guts out) Come on, we've got to go...
quickGan: (still confused) but why are you laughing so hard?
Poo: Stop already...
Me: Hahahahahaha
Enthu: Hahahahahahaha... 'you've got a... tush in your email...' hahahahahahaha

I have no idea how long we kept the (somewhat) annoyed M, confused quickGan and Poo waiting. But that was the hardest laugh I've had in long time. I hope you did too!

Gear Happy

The other day, I was in Camp, and noticed this guy who rode past at high revs in the first gear. My thoughts, in order, were:
'Poor sod. No one told him his bike has five gears'
'Or maybe no one told him where the shifter was'
'He might also have thought his pulsar was an automatic transmission bike'

I love the gearbox. A well designed gearbox ranks in the same category as digital watches and soap bubbles, when it comes to making people happy. People accuse me of using the gears too much, but god gave us the gearbox to use it! Over the past few months, I've practised a ton of gearbox skills, such as engine braking, cutting down brake use by 90%, seamless shifting etc. It's a lot of fun.

People who ride (or drive) ATs have no idea what they're missing out in a Manual. This post is probably a little random, but is serves a purpose. I want to pay homage to the guy who invented the gearbox (and God) for this priceless gift to mankind. Thank you.

What's making news

Seen the news lately? Here's your news round up for the past month, and the next month:
1. Swine flu - We're all going to die AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
2. Drought - No crops, we're all going to die AAAAAAAAA!!!
3. Terrorists - We're all going to die AAAAAAAAAA!!!
4. Pakistan - We're all going to die AAAAAAAAAA!!!
5. Naxalism - They're going to take over the naxal belt, then the rest of India, we're all going to die AAAAAAAAAA!!!

Not to say that these issues are not important, but really, do we need to be told all the time that we're all going to die?

(On a related note, I like how news channels have debates on 'Has the Swine Flu problem been blown out of proportion?'. We all know who's been screaming that we're all going to die.)

(On an unrelated note, an exoplanet with a retrograde orbit has been discovered recently. In case you missed the half second of screen time that this (newsworthy) bit got, here's a link.)

The drivel that is 2.0

I've been using the internet since the early days of the technology in India. When 28.8kbps was decent. When 56.6kbps was blazing fast. When a 1MB file took an hour (or more) to download. I distinctly remember when HTML4 was the 'in' thing. I've coded some websites myself...

Over the past couple of years, the one thing that disturbs me is the emergence of the so called 'Web 2.0'. It's supposed to be this revolution in the way web sites are designed. And it is. It has made web sites glossy, cool and hard to use. Don't get me wrong- people who know me will appreciate that I'm all for the 'this looks awesome for no reason' funda. But not at the cost of usability. During the last year, two websites I frequent , CricInfo and The Inquirer, have undergone a significant facelift. For starters, the experience was horrendous in the first few days after the switch. And even so, after I got used to the new 2.0 interfaces, I have not noticed any real improvement in the usability of either site.

The only change I have observed is that the sites are now more bandwidth intensive (which does not really bother me since I'm on broadband, but you don't leave the tap open just because you get 24hrs water supply, do you?). They look flashy and cool, but the sole reason I go to these sites is the fact that they had excellent content. I fail to see how web 2.0 is a value addition.

I know it appears like I'm now cribbing about inconsequential things, but since you've held on for so long, I'll leave you with another revelation (it was to me, anyway). I have been used to the internet as it was for many years, almost a decade now. Web 2.0 makes me feel technologically retarded. Maybe this is what growing old feels like. When the young can adapt so easily to the new world, while the old struggle to keep up... I think those of you who have been online since as long as I have will appreciate what I say. Those of you who who are relatively new will simply have to wait for a few years before you too can feel old and feeble!

One thing's for sure, I know what my mum feels like when she comes across a computer.

Pastime

I have just realised that I have developed a silly pastime when I'm riding. I tend to aggressively overtake guys with their girlfriends pillion behind them to see if they will try to return the manoeuvre. Childish social experiment? Yes. Fun? Absolutely!

Don't Panic!

With that reference to the lord of humour, I'm going to talk today, about braking on wet roads. A lot of people tend to fall while riding on wet roads. This has a lot to do with the manner in which the brakes are applied on a two wheeler. Most people believe that on wet roads you must forgo the use of the front brake and use only the rear brake. This, is a very risky thing to do. I'm going to explain, with the help of a little bit of mechanics, how brakes should be used in the wet (or even dry).

Before we get to the braking though, a few general tips. The water on the road reduces the friction between the road surface and your tyres. While riding on a road with a little bit of water (i.e. not standing water), the water will tend to reduce the friction (or grip) available to you by about 15%. So, for starters, ride about 20% slower than you would on dry roads. Secondly, maintain distance between the vehicle in front of you. On a dry road, I remember rearset saying somewhere that you should maintain a distance to the vehicle in front of you such that you can see the tyres of that vehicle. On a wet road, extending this distance further, as much as a car length is a good idea. Additionally, avoid riding on anything that is not tar/concrete, i.e. painted signs, tiles, metal manhole covers, etc. That 5% difference in grip may be the difference between you being on the bike and on the ground.

Now, on to the braking part. Consider a two wheeler travelling on a stretch of road,


In the picture above, imagine the long straight line to be the body of your two wheeler. Consider four frictional forces in that figure. Fft and Ffb are the frictional forces at the tyre-road interface and brake respectively for the front wheel. Similarly, Frt and and Frb are the frictional forces at the tyre-road interface and brake respectively for the rear wheel.

In order to slow down the bike, without causing a wheel to lock up, the frictional force at the tyre-road interface must exceed the force applied by the brake at all times. As long as Fft exceeds Ffb, the frictional force at the tyre-road interface will force the tyre to keep rotating. If Ffb becomes higher that Fft, the tyre will simply stop rotating and lock up. This would imply that you should apply equal, but limited pressure on both brakes to brake safely. There is another factor though. The moment you start braking, the body of the bike tends to lurch forward due to inertia. This motion compresses the front shock absorbers and allows the rear shocks to expand. So, once you start braking, the picture changes to this,

Shocks are not perfect, and therefore will transmit force (even though they're supposed to absorb it). Therefore, you now have a state where there is a greater load on the front wheel than there is on the rear wheel. This means that Fft now greatly exceeds Frt. It is easy now to lock up the rear wheel, and correspondingly hard to lock up the front wheel, because the limiting values of Ffb and Frb have also changed.

This is the reason why bikes always have a stronger brake on the front wheel. The explanation above holds for dry and wet weather. The correct method for braking therefore, is to start braking with only the rear brake. Once weight transfer to the front begins, slowly start using the front brake, and reduce the pressure on the rear brake. This ensures that you're less likely to lock up either wheel.

Don't Panic
If you understood what I just said, you should be less likely to lock up the front wheel. Rear wheel lock ups are still possible. If you do lock up the rear, whatever you do, don't panic. Because the front wheel still isn't locked, chances are that you'll still be going in a straight line. Gently release the rear brake, more often than not, it'll start rotating again.
Always be prepared to fall. There's no technique in the world that can ensure that you'll never fall. You WILL fall, all you can do is to reduce the frequency. When you are open to the possibility of falling, if you do fall, you'll probably get up, pick up the bike and start riding again. If you believe that you can never fall, when you do, you'll be too stunned to do anything about it.

That does it for my first biking techniques post. Feedback on whether or not that was coherent and understandable is welcome.