Foot in mouth disease is a dreadful thing. Symptoms include talking before you think, blabbering nonsense, unintentionally revealing things that must not be revealed, etc. Now take the example of Abba (yes, of KrackJack fame). On the way back from GMRT, we were having lunch at a highway dhaba. The whole bunch of us had been divided across two tables. Abba and a couple of other guys sat at one table with a bunch of girls, while our table had mostly guys, with a sssssolitary girl. Abba's table was finished with lunch much earlier than ours, but the guys at that table were still hungry. So they hopped over to our table.
Now Abba is a jolly nice chap, who like most ten year olds, imagines himself to be a noble king one day, a resolute knight the other, a brave pirate hunter the next and so on (there is the small problem - the fact that Abba is all of nineteen, not ten, but since he's a nice chap we'll overlook that). On that day, (probably influenced by the number of girls surrounding him) he decided that he would be the Pirate Hunter. Like I said, Abba hopped over to our table halfway through lunch. He must've thought that a proclamation of the state of affairs would go rather nicely with the whole Pirate Hunter thing. But a simple 'I'm coming over there to join you guys' just would not do, would it? Of course not! So he said:
Abba : My seamen have deserted me!
Enthu (eating, bursts out laughing) : WHAT? HAHAHHAHAHAHA
Me (eating) : What? What seamen are you talking about? (to enthu) What on earth is he talking about?
Enthu : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me : * Puzzled *
Abba : * Puzzled *
Enthu : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Pune Mirror Page twenty-five... HAHAHA
Me : What in the blue hel... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Abba : * Still puzzled *
Me : Pune mirror page twenty-five HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Abba : Arre what's going on here?
Enthu : We are verry sorry, but we cannot help yo...HAHAHAHA
VRD (Realisation dawns upon him) : Arre sheesh... hahahaha
Me : hahahahahaha
Abba : * Still extremely puzzled *
VRD : Arre its just a difference in the stress on pronunciation... like say - please and plizz.
Abba (Now, finally out of the storm) : Oh god! NO!
We continued laughing for a while after that, all of which cannot be captured on this blog.
Will Durant once said, 'One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.' To put it in simpler words (for the benefit of Abba), 'A closed mouth gathers no foot.' Pay attention Abba, pay attention!
Credits
I cannot leave the credits out. This post here ONLY by public demand. The public in question is anu, from here (Yes, only her (and her only, even though that's wrong english)). Form your own opinions. The greySith has said (and laughed) enough.
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Tuesday, 6 May 2008
Salt In My Wounds
You've probably heard the old proverb about how 'rubbing salt into one's (no offence to enthu) wounds' is a bad idea. Well. My doctor did just this. He rubbed Copper Sulphate into an open wound in my thumb. He's not a maniac or anything (despite the fact that he rides a red bike with the registration number painted in a manner akin to dripping blood ). I've had this weird muscle growth around my thumb, and he used the blue vitriol to kill the growth. Now, having rubbed CuSO4 rubbed into my wounds, I am officially the coolest person on the planet. MUHAHA!
Off to GMRT
GMRT. That's Giant Metrewave Radio Telescope for those of you who don't know. It's the world's largest metrewave radio telescope. We went there last friday to have a look. I'd initially thought that the radio dishes were fairly small. I was horribly mistaken of course, and the realisation dawned upon me when I saw this.
'What it do?', you might ask, if you actually like the song by Li'l Flip and Mannie Fresh. The sane ones, though, tend to wonder what it does, and how. So I'll tell you. There are thirty dish antennae like the one you've just seen, set up in a Y shaped array. This behaves like a very large receptor for radio waves. These radio waves are broken down and processed. What you get is a picture of the universe (or you, if you somehow manage to hang in front of the array for long enough), in the radio band. Radio waves travel through dust clouds, so you can actually see behind stellar obstructions. Additionally, radio telescopes are active twenty-four hours a day, as compared to the total darkness required by optical telescopes. Fascinating stuff, such as pulsars, has been discovered by use of radio astronomy.
We visited the control room, from which the entire array is, err, controlled. There was this massive server there, that we have grand plans for. We plan to use it as a large bandwidth gaming server. No really. Why do you laugh?
As usual, there was also the major distraction. Photography. Very conveniently, the site
had approximately infinite scenes that make for brilliant photography, but time only allowed for a few snaps. Here are a couple.
'What it do?', you might ask, if you actually like the song by Li'l Flip and Mannie Fresh. The sane ones, though, tend to wonder what it does, and how. So I'll tell you. There are thirty dish antennae like the one you've just seen, set up in a Y shaped array. This behaves like a very large receptor for radio waves. These radio waves are broken down and processed. What you get is a picture of the universe (or you, if you somehow manage to hang in front of the array for long enough), in the radio band. Radio waves travel through dust clouds, so you can actually see behind stellar obstructions. Additionally, radio telescopes are active twenty-four hours a day, as compared to the total darkness required by optical telescopes. Fascinating stuff, such as pulsars, has been discovered by use of radio astronomy.
We visited the control room, from which the entire array is, err, controlled. There was this massive server there, that we have grand plans for. We plan to use it as a large bandwidth gaming server. No really. Why do you laugh?
As usual, there was also the major distraction. Photography. Very conveniently, the site
had approximately infinite scenes that make for brilliant photography, but time only allowed for a few snaps. Here are a couple.
Star Party
You can accuse me of not updating the blog regularly, but no court is really going to hold that accusation up, so HA! Anyway, we'd gone to a village called Pusane for a star party (Go here, if you want to know what a star party is). We set up our telescopes (shop?) on the outskirts of the village to eliminate the modest street lighting.
Oh wonder of wonders! What a sky we saw that night. I, a veteran (not really, but it sounds cool) of three star parties, well past the jaw drop factor that accompanies a fabulous sky, still ended up looking up to the heavens with a sagging jaw. Apologies to you, since it seems the camera shook just a little, but have a look anyway:
Then of course, there was the tea. We were the organisers (again, not really, but it sounds cool to use big important sounding words), so we had to ensure that everybody else got tea. Someone conveniently forgot to bring fuel for the stove, and we were left to make do with this:
Ah well, you can't have it all. And as Darth Sidious (once, famously) said, 'Do what must be done. Do not hesitate, show no mercy'. Forty-five minutes, a few burnt maths assignments, lots of burnt hay (we burned hay when the sun didn't shine), some unburnt wood later, we actually had palatable tea. The whole process was rather complicated, but head over here, if you still want the gory details.
On our way back, I encountered what has to be one of the best sunrises I've seen in a long long time. Does this substantiate my claim?
It was fun, and you can contact me (only through the force, lower forms of communication not entertained) if you want to join us the next time we go.
Oh wonder of wonders! What a sky we saw that night. I, a veteran (not really, but it sounds cool) of three star parties, well past the jaw drop factor that accompanies a fabulous sky, still ended up looking up to the heavens with a sagging jaw. Apologies to you, since it seems the camera shook just a little, but have a look anyway:
Then of course, there was the tea. We were the organisers (again, not really, but it sounds cool to use big important sounding words), so we had to ensure that everybody else got tea. Someone conveniently forgot to bring fuel for the stove, and we were left to make do with this:
Ah well, you can't have it all. And as Darth Sidious (once, famously) said, 'Do what must be done. Do not hesitate, show no mercy'. Forty-five minutes, a few burnt maths assignments, lots of burnt hay (we burned hay when the sun didn't shine), some unburnt wood later, we actually had palatable tea. The whole process was rather complicated, but head over here, if you still want the gory details.
On our way back, I encountered what has to be one of the best sunrises I've seen in a long long time. Does this substantiate my claim?
It was fun, and you can contact me (only through the force, lower forms of communication not entertained) if you want to join us the next time we go.
Monday, 28 April 2008
Contradictions
It seems to me, that having a blog is taken as an allowance to talk utter rubbish, which seems to be brilliantly funny (or smart, insightful, etc.) at first. However, if you'll just look at it a little harder, and think a little harder, you'll see it for the stupid thing it really is. Now, as you know from here, these thoughts that I have, critical of what other people seem to do, in general either begin with myself, or end with moi (pronounced mwaah by the way, it's French for 'me').
So to get on with the so called rubbish that I've (just) spoken about, let (me read a letter I recently received... It says... (If you haven't played Half-Life 2, don't even bother with this)) me quote myself, which I believe, GB Shaw thought was a pretty cool thing to do (not quote me dopehead, quote himself).
From 'Language'
"Language is a gift. A gift that has led mankind to where we are now. We must not, must not, let this gift go in vain by terribly mutilating it.
< /Rant >
*Sigh*. Like that will make any difference."
If you read that post, you'll see me waxing eloquent about how wonderful English is, how nasty we are being by decimating it etc. And I ended it with that nugget of irony right there. I've used an HTML close tag to signify an end to my ranting.
And isn't the use of HTML in English to express thoughts a corruption of the language too?
Credits:
The aforementioned KhaGaM, for pointing this out to me.
Anu, from here, for inadvertently reminding me that I was supposed to blog about this.
So to get on with the so called rubbish that I've (just) spoken about, let (me read a letter I recently received... It says... (If you haven't played Half-Life 2, don't even bother with this)) me quote myself, which I believe, GB Shaw thought was a pretty cool thing to do (not quote me dopehead, quote himself).
From 'Language'
"Language is a gift. A gift that has led mankind to where we are now. We must not, must not, let this gift go in vain by terribly mutilating it.
< /Rant >
*Sigh*. Like that will make any difference."
If you read that post, you'll see me waxing eloquent about how wonderful English is, how nasty we are being by decimating it etc. And I ended it with that nugget of irony right there. I've used an HTML close tag to signify an end to my ranting.
And isn't the use of HTML in English to express thoughts a corruption of the language too?
Credits:
The aforementioned KhaGaM, for pointing this out to me.
Anu, from here, for inadvertently reminding me that I was supposed to blog about this.
Monday, 21 April 2008
Peer Back-Pressure
Peer Back-Pressure. Queer little term isn't it? I've been in a bit of a contemplative mood lately. And that's a term I've come up with. Yes, I will eventually (The author wishes to explain that 'eventually' happens to be a few lines down the post, but rather likes the indefineteness (is that a word?) of 'eventually) explain what that means, but for now, I'll lay a little bit of the foundation.
We all know what peer pressure is (And the author's unequivocal opinion is that you're a dolt if you don't). It's the implicit (or explicit) pressure exerted by a peer group on individuals, almost forcing them to change their views, likes, dislikes etc. to a stance in line with that of the peer group. Most of the time, the individual succumbs (knowingly or otherwise) to the pressure and changes. That's simple isn't it? Now, onward to the back-pressure bit.
Now, (Yes, the author understands that you're getting quite annoyed, but he's enjoying this. Be a little patient) back pressure is this term I came across while reading a bit of hydraulics. And being in the contemplative mood, it just sort of fit in. So yes, the point of this post. What I mean by back-pressure is the pressure the individual exerts upon himself to change, when his views on anything, agree with the views of an unpopular bunch of people. This sort of thing is what I've noticed around me recently. What I fail to understand is, why must the individual change if his views agree with those of an unpopular group? Surely, views and nature are not necessary or sufficient conditions for each other. Liking a particular band/book that is liked by the aforementioned groups does not make you a member of that group, and similarly, the other way around. In my opinion, the individual should stay as he/she is, and not be influenced by this peer back-pressure.
Whew! Did you get all of that? When I wrote this, it was with a few people I knew in mind. But all the thinking has led me to quite a conclusion! I've discovered, over the past day or so, that I've been as guilty of succumbing to peer back-pressure as the people I had in mind. Aren't we all?
We all know what peer pressure is (And the author's unequivocal opinion is that you're a dolt if you don't). It's the implicit (or explicit) pressure exerted by a peer group on individuals, almost forcing them to change their views, likes, dislikes etc. to a stance in line with that of the peer group. Most of the time, the individual succumbs (knowingly or otherwise) to the pressure and changes. That's simple isn't it? Now, onward to the back-pressure bit.
Now, (Yes, the author understands that you're getting quite annoyed, but he's enjoying this. Be a little patient) back pressure is this term I came across while reading a bit of hydraulics. And being in the contemplative mood, it just sort of fit in. So yes, the point of this post. What I mean by back-pressure is the pressure the individual exerts upon himself to change, when his views on anything, agree with the views of an unpopular bunch of people. This sort of thing is what I've noticed around me recently. What I fail to understand is, why must the individual change if his views agree with those of an unpopular group? Surely, views and nature are not necessary or sufficient conditions for each other. Liking a particular band/book that is liked by the aforementioned groups does not make you a member of that group, and similarly, the other way around. In my opinion, the individual should stay as he/she is, and not be influenced by this peer back-pressure.
Whew! Did you get all of that? When I wrote this, it was with a few people I knew in mind. But all the thinking has led me to quite a conclusion! I've discovered, over the past day or so, that I've been as guilty of succumbing to peer back-pressure as the people I had in mind. Aren't we all?
Saturday, 19 April 2008
The IPL...
I've not been blogging for a while now... You might have thought, 'Ha! this guy is out of ideas already!'. But I've just conned you! (Not really, I did run out of ideas, but that's just not for YOU to know).
So now that that's been settled, let me get (re) started with the blog. I saw the first IPL match yesterday. The Kolkata Knight Riders completely decimated the Bangalore Royal Challengers (who, I could not resist this, did not put up much of a challenge!). It was good entertainment, the crowds loved it and so did the commentators. I can't say I didn't enjoy it, but it worries me. This is far too short a version of the game to bring out it's glorious possibilities. It just got me thinking... No matter what the players out there do, there some events that will never happen in T20. In no particular order, here we go:
1. Sachin checks into heartbreak hotel.
What Indian fan can forget the heartbreak of losing to Pakistan in Chennai in 1998? Chasing 271 to win in the fourth innings of the first test, only two Indian batsmen got to double figures. One of them was Sachin Tendulkar. Battling severe back spasms, he almost led the inept Indian team to a what would have been a fabulous win. Too bad there was nobody else to score those remaining 13 runs.
2. Yuvraj and Kaif lead us home
Netwest series final, 2002. In a T20 game, after the start India had had, there wouldn't have been a chance in hell of winning. It takes a longer version to separate the men from the boys.
3. South Africa bt Australia by one wicket in 2006
It was what has been called one of the greatest games of all time. The sheer nerves required to chase that target... WOW! Nothing of this sort will ever occur in T20 for the simple reason that T20 is too short. It's possible to maintain that sort of momentum for twenty overs... but fifty? I'd have said not a chance, if I hadn't seen this innings that is.
There is of course a lot more you could add to this list. But then again, I can only talk of what I've seen. I'd be truly sorry if T20 kills tests or ODIs...
So now that that's been settled, let me get (re) started with the blog. I saw the first IPL match yesterday. The Kolkata Knight Riders completely decimated the Bangalore Royal Challengers (who, I could not resist this, did not put up much of a challenge!). It was good entertainment, the crowds loved it and so did the commentators. I can't say I didn't enjoy it, but it worries me. This is far too short a version of the game to bring out it's glorious possibilities. It just got me thinking... No matter what the players out there do, there some events that will never happen in T20. In no particular order, here we go:
1. Sachin checks into heartbreak hotel.
What Indian fan can forget the heartbreak of losing to Pakistan in Chennai in 1998? Chasing 271 to win in the fourth innings of the first test, only two Indian batsmen got to double figures. One of them was Sachin Tendulkar. Battling severe back spasms, he almost led the inept Indian team to a what would have been a fabulous win. Too bad there was nobody else to score those remaining 13 runs.
2. Yuvraj and Kaif lead us home
Netwest series final, 2002. In a T20 game, after the start India had had, there wouldn't have been a chance in hell of winning. It takes a longer version to separate the men from the boys.
3. South Africa bt Australia by one wicket in 2006
It was what has been called one of the greatest games of all time. The sheer nerves required to chase that target... WOW! Nothing of this sort will ever occur in T20 for the simple reason that T20 is too short. It's possible to maintain that sort of momentum for twenty overs... but fifty? I'd have said not a chance, if I hadn't seen this innings that is.
There is of course a lot more you could add to this list. But then again, I can only talk of what I've seen. I'd be truly sorry if T20 kills tests or ODIs...
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